Keepapitchinin, the Mormon History blog » Is It Ethical to Eat Mormons?

Is It Ethical to Eat Mormons?

By: Ardis E. Parshall - May 07, 2014

Guess what? Keepa is six years old today. I don’t know what that is in dog years, but it feels pretty long in blog years.. So please indulge me in a kind of post that always fascinates me.

That question – is it ethical to eat mormons – actually brought somebody to Keepa within the past month, as did these other intriguing questions:

who said “teach a boy to blow a horn and he will never blow a safe?”
“is it all right to have questions about the church or its doctrine?”
+what is the story behind “the 500” in morman history
do mormons believe in capital punishment
explain the procedures to welcome and bid farewell to children
how do mormons prepare their dead for burial
does the lds church have the clothes that hyrum had on in carthage
what does box elder stake mean in mormon
what does it mean to seal his teastomny with his blod
what is a cottage meeting
what is that machine called that used toiron sheets tablecloths etc. at home
what skills do you need to have for homemaking
when was the first priesthood session held at general conference
where is hyrum smith’s wife buried?

I don’t know if Keepa had the answers, but people came looking, anyway.

Surprisingly, given the number of hits the marijuana post got in the past month, very few people looked for it through Google searches:

brigham young cannabis
hook ups for weed in ogden utah
lds church marihuana
mormon and weed
mormons who traveled to mexico in 1910

A few people were looking for a certain movie:

17 miracle of the snakes
was there midget in handcarts?
17 miracle christian movie
did 17 miracles really happen
17 miracles albert
17 miracles cave scene

One searcher wanted, apparently, general information on this subject:

history of beards

while another searcher had very high requirements for his search:

best magnificent beards in man’s history

I hope Orson Pratt’s beard qualified.

It’s fun to see the nostalgia some of us have for our Mormon youth and childhood:

lds golden gleaner award
lds primary bandalo
sacrament gems
memories of lds jr. Sunday school
“golden gleaners”
1960 bandalo lds mormon
primary birthday pennies
“I will bring the light of the gospel into my home”
golden gleaner pin
lds mission release certificate
lds primary girls bandalos
lds primary historic larks, bluebird and seagulls
lds primary sash
lds primary songs of 1930s
lihoma sampler
master m man

I hope Keepa provided satisfactory material for these two searches –

corny jokes from the 1950
funny mormon ads

– ’cause if we didn’t, I’m not sure anybody could.

Some searches could be offensive, if we let ourselves take offense:

did brigham young have his daughter surgery on [genitals]
mormons were murderers
the lds church is a big business

A few searchers must think we have special ways of doing just about anything:

enemas mormons
mormon shrimp recipes

– and maybe, to our shame, we DO:

lemon jello, carrots, pineapple and green olives

One searcher found me even while misspelling my name –

ardis pershall

– while others spelled a name right but still didn’t find what they were looking for:

kevin folkman fragrance company
kevin j folkman wedding

One searcher had a specific need:

none can preach the gospel like the mormons do violin sheet music

I can’t help you with the violin sheet music, but I can sing that one to you:

We’re going to preach the gospel to all who want to hear,
A message of salvation unto the meek we bear.
Jehovah has commanded us, and therefore we must go
For none can preach the gospel like the Mormons do, like the Mormons do.

Amy may be surprised at how many people search names of people she has written about:

ann fairfax
anne fairfax
anne fairfax washingtpon lee
anne washington lee

– and this isn’t the only one. Cyrus Wheelock comes in for a share of searches, as does Hark Lay.

I know what post this search found:

moroni dedicated manti temple

but I don’t suppose he was satisfied at the results for

moroni dedicated st george temple

Somebody had a religiopolitical question, but did NOT want articles by or about the two most likely to turn up in Google searches:

prophets prophecies mormon presidency -romney -beck

And finally, for some reason I was happiest about these searches, which led readers to posts that were directly on point. Do you remember any of these posts?

van camp bean ads
pig pen cipher
george bernard shaw and polygamy
history of sand tables

Sometimes I wonder how much longer Keepa can go on. To be honest, while Keepa still gets as many hits every day as it ever did, more and more of those hits are for archived posts. Regular daily readers account for only about a third of the readership we had even a year ago. The blogs aren’t quite dead, but we’re struggling. Thank you for continuing to read, and best of all (from my perspective), honoring Keepa with your comments.



  1. “What does box elder stake mean in mormon”?? That’s funny!! The kind of thing you’d never wonder about if you knew the culture, but somewhere out there someone’s wondering how you box an elder, and what part a stake plays in the procedure.

    Happy birthday, Keepa! Lots of work has gone into these six years of regular, almost daily content! Congratulations, Ardis!

    Comment by Amy T — May 7, 2014 @ 7:14 am

  2. Happy Birthday, Keepa, from your friends at the:

    kevin folkman fragrance company and
    kevin j folkman wedding

    I’ve seen some weird jello recipes in my life, but that one with green olives is out there. Lime jello, shredded carrots, pineapple, and cottage cheese was pretty normal in my home growing up, but green olives? Why would you do that to green olives?

    Comment by kevinf — May 7, 2014 @ 7:32 am

  3. I hope someone found “mangle” with that search about ironing linens, since it seems that a lot of the searchers have mangled the language beyond recognition!

    And, congratulations and thanks Ardis. It’s been a great ride!

    Comment by Mark B. — May 7, 2014 @ 9:08 am

  4. Why would you do anything with or to green olives? Why do green olives exist?

    I’m going to Google that and scroll until I hit a Keepa post.

    Comment by SilverRain — May 7, 2014 @ 9:08 am

  5. I did a search for earrings and John Henry Smith because my husband wanted to see the photo again to show to someone else. :)

    Comment by Chocolate on my Cranium — May 7, 2014 @ 9:10 am

  6. A hearty congratulations, Ardis!

    Comment by J. Stapley — May 7, 2014 @ 9:23 am

  7. Happy Birthday Keepa!
    But, come on, Ardis, don’t keepa us hanging. Is it ethical to eat Mormons? I need answers, preferably before dinner tonight.

    Comment by Paul Reeve — May 7, 2014 @ 9:24 am

  8. Paul, AR-M recommends fava beans and a nice chianti, but since we’re talking Mormons here perhaps Diet Coke would be more acceptable.

    Thank, all! Happy birthday to us!

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — May 7, 2014 @ 9:32 am

  9. Fun! But, yes, indeed, is it ethical to eat Mormons? Vegetarians who abstain from meat but eat fish are “pescatarians.” So, I suppose vegetarians who make an exception for Mormons must be, well, “Mormatarians.” [rim shot]

    Happy birthday, Keepapitchinin! Yes, people seem less interested in daily blogging and commenting, but the fact that folks still come here for archived posts has to be heartening. I, for one, am very grateful for all the hundreds and hundreds of posts you’ve compiled here, “Ardis Pershall.”

    Comment by David Y. — May 7, 2014 @ 9:43 am

  10. It’s well worth finding Keepa; I know I’ve gone very few days without it since I found it and have learned so much I could write a book on it. Ardis, you might think about that! You do a phenomenal job given that nobody pays you for what you do here. It is truly a unique labour of love and I hope I speak for all the regular Keepaninnies when I say it is very much appreciated and valued.

    Comment by Alison — May 7, 2014 @ 10:25 am

  11. “I know I’ve gone very few days without it since I found it”

    Me too, Alison, me too. (multiple times a day, even)

    Comment by Coffinberry — May 7, 2014 @ 10:42 am

  12. I hope Orson Pratt’s beard qualified.


    Comment by The Other Clark — May 7, 2014 @ 11:02 am

  13. I think of you every year as Good Friday passes and I haven’t yet tried your recipe for Hot Cross Buns. I can tell from reading the ingredients it will be the best. Maybe next year.

    I usually read everything written here and I thank you.

    Comment by Bessie Sanborn — May 7, 2014 @ 11:23 am

  14. I’m proud to count myself among the daily readers. Congratulations, and many thanks for the many hours you devote here!

    Comment by Matt — May 7, 2014 @ 11:26 am

  15. I often wonder what certain words “mean in Mormon.” We could use a Mormon-to-English option on Google Translate.

    Comment by MC — May 7, 2014 @ 11:39 am

  16. I’m working on my magnificent beard!

    Comment by queuno — May 7, 2014 @ 11:55 am

  17. In all seriousness, I think we need a book, “The Best of Keepa”. Pick 50 of your best (or most popular?) posts, compile them, and sell it.

    Comment by queuno — May 7, 2014 @ 11:57 am

  18. I suspect the church has things in its archives that it doesn’t even know it has. Case in point – my mission president told us once how he was rooting around in the archives and found a yellow piece of shirt cloth with bloodstains labeled as being from the shirt Joseph wore at Carthage. No one, at the time, knew it was there. Of course they may have found a lot in the 40 plus years since that happened.

    Daily reader.

    Comment by STW — May 7, 2014 @ 12:03 pm

  19. Thanks much.

    I was an Agronomy major at BYU in the 1970s, and I heard about sugar beets, but I never appreciated what an integral part of life they were in the intermountain west until reading all those ads:)

    Comment by Naismith — May 7, 2014 @ 12:13 pm

  20. Besides this great birthday celebration (although the title of the article suggests that we might want to pass on refreshments!), congratulations on the shout-out in the DesNews today, Ardis.

    The history of Tsunie Nachie is a project that started at Keepa, isn’t it? It’s wonderful to have her included in Vol. 3 of Women of Faith in the Latter-days.

    Comment by Amy T — May 7, 2014 @ 12:24 pm

  21. I happened to be in a car and listening to a radio today, and discovered that today is also the birthdate of Johannes Brahms and Pyotr Tchaikovsky. And though May 8 is the date generally celebrated in the West as V-E Day, the actual German surrender (to the Western Allies and one stray Russian), was signed in Reims, France, on May 7.

    A big day! Maybe I’ll bake a cake.

    Comment by Mark B. — May 7, 2014 @ 2:03 pm

  22. A bit late to the party. Very best wishes and a big congratulations, Ardis! I don’t know how you manage it, day after day, but keepa continues to be one of the best, most interesting and informative sites ever!

    Comment by Gary Bergera — May 7, 2014 @ 2:22 pm

  23. I’ve enjoyed the blog, it’s always interesting. That first quote is great, I was very curious who “the 500” were, and some googling suggests it’s a far more awesome way to refer to the Mormon Battalion. I hope you keep the blog goin.

    Comment by seth — May 7, 2014 @ 5:30 pm

  24. What? No searches for Mormons cornering the sugar beet market?

    Happy Anniversary!

    Comment by Grant — May 7, 2014 @ 8:11 pm

  25. I agree with everything that everyone said so far. You consistently provide stories and articles that teach us, humor us, and make us come back for more. You are amazing. Happy Birthday to Keepa.

    Comment by Maurine — May 8, 2014 @ 1:17 am

  26. Happy birthday to Keepa, my favorite LDS blog! (Now I’m left wondering how many people have ever Googled “is it ethical to eat evangelicals”…)

    Comment by JB — May 8, 2014 @ 3:56 am

  27. Is it ethical to eat Mormons?

    Only in months without the letter R.

    Keepa is a keeper!

    Comment by rameumptom — May 8, 2014 @ 6:10 am

  28. Two possible responses to the titular question:

    (1) Come and see;

    (2) Come, dine with me.

    Congratulations, Ardis. And thank you.

    Comment by Ugly Mahana — May 8, 2014 @ 3:57 pm

  29. Congratulations on six years, Ardis, although I’m sorry to hear traffic is in decline.

    Comment by Ziff — May 15, 2014 @ 8:54 am

  30. “what does box elder stake mean in mormon” this made me laugh–and then a bit sad. It’s possibly an overactive writers’ imagination, but I imagined a bewildered and lonely young adolescent who is not a Mormon and has recently moved into Box Elder County. This young person is trying so hard to understand the lingo all around him or her.

    Comment by Braden — July 20, 2014 @ 1:23 pm