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From Google to Keepa: What They’re Looking For

By: Ardis E. Parshall - August 19, 2013

Some navel-gazing today as we check in with the Google queries that bring people to Keepa, with a chance to revisit some favorite old posts.

There seems to be considerable interest in the movie 17 Miracles, particularly in its accuracy, which brings visitors to 17 Miracles, More or Less:

albert in 17 miracles
stories behind 17 miracles
what is true in 17 miracles
17 miracles beef jerkey story
17 miracles historical accuracy
17 miracles jerky miracle
17 miracles lds story snakes pioneer girls copy
17 miracles midget
17 miracles mortensen
17 miracles original stories
17 miracles pioneer stories
17 miracles snake story
17 miracles story of girls and rattlesnakes
dwarf in 17 miracles
levi savage and the donner party
mormon pioneer bread miracle
phrases 17 miracles movie
pioneer story lds dried meat given by known man
stories from 17 miracles
was there a midget in the martin handcart company
willie martin handcart company midget

Then there’s the endless fascination with Mormons and marijuana, with some startlingly specific queries (see The Great Mormon Marijuana Myth):

are the lds allowed to smoke pot in amsterdam?
mormon policy on marijuana
did joseph smith smoke cannabis?
mormons + marijuana
mormons that use cannabis
mormons using marijuana
mormons who smoke marijuana
why cant lds people smoke weed?
mormons and marijuana
is marijuana against the mormon religion?
is smoking weed against mormon
lds church on marijuana
mormon marijuana
joseph smith marijuana
mormon anti pot legislation
lds stand on marijuana
marijuanna and the mormon church

I always pleased when people find Dressing the Dead when they need it:

mormon burial clothes
what clothing are mormons buried in
why are mormons buried in temple clothes
dressing a dead body
lds temple burial dress blog
lds temple funeral burial dress blog
how do you dress a dead body
mormon burial dress
what to expect when dressing a corpse
can you dress a stiff corpse

And apparently there is ongoing interest in The Best Beards in Mormon History:

beards of famous mormons
lds orson beard
beard of brigham young (this one might be a vote for A Note about Brigham’s Beard)
beards and mormons
best beards in history
great men in history with beards
orson pratt beard

Some guest posters should be pleased that their posts are an answer to someone’s need:

keepapitchinin as arranged ( “As Arranged”)
ann fairfax (a whole group of requests for Anne Fairfax Washington Lee
anne fairfax washington lee
fairfax & washington
george and anne fairfax lee
george and anne fairfax washington lee
how to tell family story Family Stories: How to Tell Them
diary of jean rio baker (multiple searches leading to this Review of Sally Denton’s Faith and Betrayal)
jean rio griffiths baker art history museum
jean rio griffiths baker piano
jean rio mormon utah
journal of jean rio baker
jules vern and mormonism (leading to In Which Jules Verne Meets Clarissa
object lesson for chastity (several hits, understandably, for this Open Letter: Upcoming Youth Lesson on Chastity
teaching chastity analogy
why is chastity important

I’m pleased when my own posts address someone’s need:

1903 hurricane in the tuamotus (The Winds and the Waves, 1903)
what was a golden gleaner in the lds church ((Master M Men and Golden Gleaners
fisher sanford harris (Fisher Sanford Harris: Non-Mormon Peacemaker in Zion)
mormon tabernacle is attacked (The Tabernacle Under Attack, 1938)
new postum review compared to original (Little White Lab Rat: The Postum Showdown)
the actor who played in the movie notorious by the first name of moroni (Moroni Olsen: Class Act)
“no such thing as a witch” songbook (There’s No Such Thing as a Witch)
1926 man swallowed by shark (Catch of the Day)
1981 threefold mission kimball (Origin of the “Threefold Mission of the Church” Statement)
arabic translation of the book of mormon (Book of Mormon Translations: Arabic, 1893)
artist joseph paul vorst (Joseph Paul Vorst: Regionalist Artist)
boom get a rat trap bigger than a cat trap (Go Get a Rat Trap Bigger Than a Cat Trap)
bountiful utah parade 2000 stripling warriors (Stripling Warriors on Parade, 2012)
curve ahead road sign spiritually (Danger, Curves Ahead!)
etiquette manners for young women 1902 (Proprieties and Usages of Good Society)
mormon bishops pills (Vim, Vigor, Vitality, Oh, My!)
jenssine grundvig hostmark (Jensine Hostmark Grundvig: Zionward)
logan temple account of genealogy records to balard (Henry Ballard’s Miraculous Newspaper Delivery)
memorial camp de souge (B.H. Roberts Leads Memorial Services)
white elk mussolini (Edgardo and Bertha; or, Chief White Elk Weds Princess Ah-Tra-Ah-Saun)
indian chief white elk selling bonds
black minstrel shows (Brethren in Blackface)
cody wyoming lds murals (The Cody Mural)
fred hamel “wake island” (Fred Mack Hamel: Latter-day Saint, World War II POW)
grubby girls (Grubby Boys and Tomboy Girls: Mormon Tweens)
how to write own scripture (Creating My Own Edition of the Scriptures)
easy way to mark scriptures (but probably not the easiest!)

Some answers probably debunked what the searcher was hunting:

general anthony sherman george washington (What George Washington Didn’t Say about Barack Obama in the Relief Society Magazine, the Saints’ Herald, or Even the Millennial Star)
how to cut stone with frozen water (The Mountain of the Lord’s House)
moroni and manti temple (Moroni’s Purported Rambles)

Questions – we always get questions:

did joseph smith name the hill cumorah?
did the curtains of the tabernacle have holes
did the stripling warriors have the priesthood?
how can I explain the importance of marriage and family to others
can I view my parents patriarchal blessing
can you get growing pains later on in life
what about single people over 45 in the lds church (Yes? What about us?)
how do i keep my covenant to always remember the savior
how do i obtain my mom and dads patriarchal blessing
how to be a great gospel doctrine teacher
what do non lds see on familysearch family tree
what does modesty is the best policy mean
what is a cottage meeting
what is a vanguard in boy scout
i have some postum that is really old will it be okay to drink?
is there any liberality church in the world (You might try Keepa’s “The Liberal Mormon” series)
what can be more precious than yourself
why is it important to learn about my family history? object lesson
why was the lds mesa temple built with no spires
who was wilford woodruff’s missionary companion
whose is the lonely grave outside the winter quarters lds temple
why are we supposed to use our right hand to pass and eat the sacrament?

Some searches baffle me:

a short story about cooperation in hindi
aj miller does he know where he is buried (If he knows, he’s not telling)
angel statue found in moon rock
big jolt in october for lds church
latter day saints rules to keep a tidy home (Can I get a list of those rules, please?)
brigham young birth place equipment
he finally dressed into the silky rayon knickers (Did he really?)
lds garments river rafting
lds brother who almost lost his leg
hugh b brown deserves to be destroyed (A nice man like that? why?)
lds why can’t new members attend gospel doctrine (It sounds like we’re forbidding that – ’cause that’s where all the insider secrets are taught, maybe?)
lds why don’t new converts go to gospel doctrine class
mormon jello marshmallow (Well, maybe this one doesn’t baffle me …)
tutorial on mormon jello and cheesecream recipes (… but needing a tutorial does)
single women in the church too many kids
science disproves mormonism (okey dokey)
where did women put their hankies

And ending with a bang, there’s this search:

w cleon skousen full of bullshit



16 Comments »

  1. The “mormon bishop pills” might have been from me. I’ve been working up a paper on Mormon-themed aphrodisiacs and I re-read the VVV post.

    Comment by Edje Jeter — August 19, 2013 @ 8:25 am

  2. Fun!

    One of the questions (how can I explain the importance of marriage and family to others) is the word-for-word title of a youth Sunday School lesson outline this month. I didn’t think of looking here for help. The lesson outline includes explaining the church’s position on gay marriage to one’s friends and why it was good for the church to be involved in Prop 8. I decided to skip that lesson, opting instead to have the kids tell stories from their family history and eat cupcakes.

    Comment by HokieKate — August 19, 2013 @ 8:25 am

  3. I remember Jim Allen, in a BYU class, telling us students how Elder Harold B. Lee commented to some CES employees that whenever he read a book by Brother Skousen, he was always certain to mark any especially noteworthy passages with the notation “B.S.”

    Comment by Gary Bergera — August 19, 2013 @ 9:17 am

  4. I have had a few hits on my blog from variations of the search terms: “Mormon History Keepa”

    Comment by Grant — August 19, 2013 @ 10:39 am

  5. Maybe you could take all those bizarre questions, and run a weekly series, “Jon McNaughton Explains It All For You, with Illustrations, or How Obamacare is Ruining LDS History, with Footnotes by Cleon Skousen.”

    Comment by kevinf — August 19, 2013 @ 11:48 am

  6. Wow, this post sure built to a great punch line!

    Comment by Mina — August 19, 2013 @ 11:49 am

  7. I was personally present at a Stake Conference youth fireside with S. Dilworth Young where one of the youth asked what he thought of Brother Skousen. His response was something to the effect of “I love Brother Skousen, he’s a good member of the Church. But as for his books … they’re full of prunes.”

    Take it for whatever it’s worth.

    Comment by Vader — August 19, 2013 @ 1:19 pm

  8. I do enjoy your posts on Google searches, Ardis. They’re always so entertaining. A few random reactions:

    * It’s amazing what an Energizer bunny that pot post is.

    * It’s been interesting to see the reaction to the post about Ann Fairfax Washington Lee and what she has meant to people. What a curious experience history writing can be.

    * Is the interest in 17 Miracles something new, or is it due to a new release of the movie, or T.C. Christensen’s new movie?

    * Moroni and the Manti Temple. Saw the pageant this summer. Nice production. There’s no statue in the garden below the temple anymore, and Moroni didn’t dedicate the temple mount in the pageant. Again, what a curious experience history writing can be!

    Comment by Amy T — August 19, 2013 @ 2:19 pm

  9. So…can Mormons smoke pot in Amsterdam? :-)

    Comment by Steve C. — August 19, 2013 @ 9:34 pm

  10. I am surprised that there are those still interested in Jean Rio Griffiths Baker. Is anybody still reading Sally’s bad history? I am sure my great great grandmother would be surprised at the commotion she has caused.

    Comment by Jeffery Johnson — August 19, 2013 @ 9:44 pm

  11. These are so much better than the terms my blog collects. :)

    Comment by SilverRain — August 20, 2013 @ 5:12 am

  12. “big jolt in october for lds church”

    A particular celebrity exmo (of course) claims a PR bombshell is going to hit in October, which will totally undermine the church (of course.)

    Of course, you know exactly how to take such claims.

    Comment by Ben S — August 20, 2013 @ 1:20 pm

  13. Run in circles, scream and shout?

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — August 20, 2013 @ 2:14 pm

  14. Yeah, Chicken Little. Not always the best policy but definitely the most entertaining.

    Comment by Amy T — August 20, 2013 @ 2:25 pm

  15. That last line! Oh boy. Paul H. Dunn came and spoke to our mission in the early 80s, and in response to a question commented that “Cleon Skousen writes like he has Moses’ personal journal”.

    Comment by Alison — August 20, 2013 @ 3:35 pm

  16. Ha! Thanks for sharing these. Especially the last one. :)

    Comment by Ziff — August 22, 2013 @ 12:02 pm

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