Keepapitchinin, the Mormon History blog » Funny Bones, 1960 (3)
 


Funny Bones, 1960 (3)

By: Ardis E. Parshall - April 20, 2013

John: “That’s a pretty sad looking stadium.”

Albert: “Yes, It’s even built in tiers.”

I Wonder

If flies are flies
Because they fly
And fleas
Because they flee …
I wonder, then,
If bees are bees
Just because they be?

– Elsetta R.Williams)

-ooOoo-

Lenny: “I can do anything you can.”

Bob: “Can you see the back of your neck?”

-ooOoo-

“Your suit begins to look a little rusty.”

“Yes, my tailor guaranteed that it would wear like iron.”

-ooOoo-

“What is the biggest diamond in the world?”

“Baseball diamond.”

-ooOoo-

Landlady: “I am going to raise your rent.”

Tenant: “Oh, thank you. I was wondering how I was going to raise it myself.”

-ooOoo-

“What always comes after a mouse?’

“Its tail.”

-ooOoo-

.

.

-ooOoo-

“What did you do when the ship sank?”

“I grabbed myself a bar of soap and washed myself ashore.”

-ooOoo-

Passenger: “Conductor, what’s the name of this station?”

Conductor: “Fishhook. They call it that because it’s the end of the line.”

-ooOoo-

.

.

-ooOoo-

“What’s the difference between a lemon and a head of cabbage?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you’d be a fine one to send after lemons.”

-ooOoo-

Mike: “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

Pat: “Polish them.”

A Soft Answer

“Benny,” said the teacher to a quick-tempered boy, “You must not grow angry and say naughty things. You should always give a soft answer.”

Later Benny became provoked again. He clenched his fists and said, “Mush.”

What Is an Oyster?

“Now,” asked a teacher, “who can tell me what an oyster is?”

There was silence for a moment. Then little Billy raised his hand.

“I know,” he announced. “An oyster is a fish built like a nut!”

Tongue Twister

Five fine frisky fishes flipped their fins fitfully.

I Can’t Make Up My Mind

Nana says, “Be happy.”

Granddad says, “Be brave.”

Mother says, “Be careful.”

But Daddy says, “Behave.”



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