Keepapitchinin, the Mormon History blog » “The language was meek and instruction edified much”: A spammer guest posts at Keepa

“The language was meek and instruction edified much”: A spammer guest posts at Keepa

By: "Mark the Spammer" - December 06, 2012

What follows is a really-truly exchange between a spammer — who is clearly impervious to sarcasm — and me. I will not post his links at Keepa, but if any of you insist on it, send me a private message (AEParshall ataoldotcom) and I’ll send you the address. You visit it at your own risk — I have not clicked through, and certainly don’t endorse anything you might find there.

I should maybe hold this until Saturday, when you’re used to finding the silliest of jokes published in this space. But here goes:

Email received December 1, 2012:

Hi Admin,

My name is Mark & I am an author on [edited]. I regularly write book reviews and articles on Historical topics related to Medieval, Renaissance, Pirate, gothic & Steampunk theme. I’ve been reading your blog, & like your posts. It occurred to me that your readers might be interested in a post on a similar theme. I’d love to share my insights with your readers in a guest post. The article content is unique, original & has not been posted anywhere else. If you are interested, please get back to me. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Promotion Manager

My reply, same date:

Oh, yeah, sure, Emily, or Mark, or whoever you are who failed to edit your spam template.* This is a Mormon history blog. So sure, go ahead and write me a post about the history of Mormon pirates, or Mormons in medieval times, and I’ll be sure to post it immediately.

Waiting with great expectations —


[*The name Mark doesn’t match up to the name associated with the email address]

Received this morning:

Joseph Smith – Master of God’s Truth

There is no doubt that Joseph Smith is the greatest prophet after Jesus Christ as per Mormonism’s belief. Hyrum Smith once declared that Joseph had the spirit and power of all the prophets, who were born before. A number of critics still try to slander this faith of God, but tenacity of the prophet cannot be overruled. Joseph L. Robinson, a resident of Nauvoo once observed that the prophet’s voice was similar to the thunders of heaven. He said that the language was meek and instruction was edified much, but a power as well as majesty that attended his words and preaching, was never beheld in any person. He further stated that he was highly charged with the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost was his constant companion.

Joseph himself said the saints that he wanted their prayers and faith, and he might have the instructions of almighty God and the gift of Holy Ghost. He stated the reason that he wanted this in order to set forth thing, which are true and can be easily comprehended to the people.

Joseph’s friend Wandle Mace confirmed the sayings of Joseph. According to Wandle Mace, no was able to explain the scriptures, and throw them wide open for viewing in so simple way that nobody could misunderstand their meaning. Joseph turned this key, and the door of wisdom sprang wide open that it revealed the previous principles, both new and old.

The views of Joseph were highly admired by a number of people in the modern times also. A plenty of LDS Temples are being built in various countries; however, some of them are unofficial. A number of people are taking interest in Mormonism in different ways. Interestingly, Mormon dresses with a lot of modern innovation are being manufactured today by several manufactures, which are different from conventional medieval clothing of 19th century Mormons.

Thousands of people in today’s scenario have accepted this faith of God, and a lot of awareness about it is being spread through offline and online sources. The dream of Joseph Smith is on the way to accomplish.



  1. It could use a little tweaking here and there, but not bad. And I must say, that’s quite an image. Steampunk, Joseph Smith, Joseph Robinson, and Wandle Mace. Add a little H.G. Wells and her time machine, and it would make a decent episode of Warehouse 13.

    Comment by Researcher — December 6, 2012 @ 10:57 am

  2. I want to hear more about these “unofficial” temples and fascinating innovations in Mormon dresses! And to think I’d been wearing 19th century medieval clothing all this time, and just going to the boring, mainstream temples!

    Comment by Amy — December 6, 2012 @ 11:00 am

  3. All I can think about is some poor schlub somewhere in the world trying to earn money by writing dreck like this. Well, that’s not ALL I can think about, but it’s definitely one thing.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — December 6, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  4. Funny, just this morning I woke up thinking, “You know what Keepapitchinin needs? More pirate, gothic & steampunk themes!”

    Comment by David Y. — December 6, 2012 @ 11:12 am

  5. (By the way, good use of the word “schlub.” I think it’s apt.)

    Comment by David Y. — December 6, 2012 @ 11:13 am

  6. As guest post editor for another blog I get similar queries all the time. I’ve never responded to one–now I almost want to just to see what I get.

    Comment by Jessie — December 6, 2012 @ 11:15 am

  7. I wonder if the Mormon innovation in dresses is the result of a web search and finding the modesty fashion shows and modest dresses advertised to Mormons.

    Comment by Carol — December 6, 2012 @ 11:50 am

  8. I am also wondering if my temple is one of the unofficial ones…

    I only wish you had asked for a piece on the Steampunk Mormons…I’ve always wondered about those guys.

    Comment by Paul — December 6, 2012 @ 1:35 pm

  9. Eerily reminiscent of some of my students’ Freshman English papers. So glad you posted this, and that you keep Keepa free from such things.

    Comment by Amy — December 6, 2012 @ 1:58 pm

  10. I hope there’s a followup post that will explain just exactly what “the dream of Joseph Smith is on the way to accomplish.” The cliffhanger at the end has me on the edge of my seat.

    Comment by iguacufalls — December 6, 2012 @ 2:27 pm

  11. And in the latter days, we now see clearly that thing was set forth.

    Comment by Matt — December 6, 2012 @ 4:06 pm

  12. Thanks for the chuckle. For those of you who do get both letters from someone interested in writing for your blog, or who would like you to allow a post from yours to be a guest post on theirs, is there a preferred way to do it?

    I admit I often feel like I am thrashing around trying to figure out how to connect into a writing community that is both familiar and strange. I have had everything from a request for my complete resume, when I submitted a poem, to a request for an entire piece before they would even let me know if the topic was of interest. I have had several requests to write, and then gotten the “edited” version that was obviously not originally written by me. (In fact, in one case it was a completely different topic. After writing back that I thought there had been a mistake, I never heard from them again.)

    Personally, I share the links to posts that get me started writing about a topic, and I enjoy having guest posts because they bring different views. I do edit them some, but usually it is spelling, grammar and smoothing a few run on sentences or taking repetitive statements and combining a paragraph or two.

    It is timely right now because I know I will be having surgery soon, and put out an official request for submissions. (I want to be able to have several weeks of, at least 2-3 posts a week, during the initial recovery period) and thought it would be nice to have several fairly broad topic series as a place to start. anyone who has been there knows my blog is pretty eclectic, and has biews and topics that are wide ranging. So far I am not important enough to get these kinds of requests, but I did get a few emailed responses to “taking them off my spam mailing list.” I sent out a request to bloggers who I read and comment on their blogs regularly, (not just random bloggers) but it seems some people took it as less than a sincere request.

    (For a shameless plug, about my shameless love of Keepa, you can see today’s post,

    So, any brilliant insights on what I can do better, or avoid, in trying to make connections with other bloggers?

    Comment by Julia — December 6, 2012 @ 4:29 pm

  13. I’m certainly happy when links to Keepa posts appear elsewhere, or are discussed in someone else’s post somewhere else, but I ask that no post be copied in its entirety onto anybody else’s website. I need people to visit Keepa, and it always makes me unhappy when I discover, as I sometimes do, that my work is being used to draw readers elsewhere and away from Keepa.

    You’re certainly welcome to post links to your own work, Julia, as you have done here, *because* you are a regular commenter who is adding to the conversation when you do so. A perennial problem is people who have never participated at Keepa before, who leave a meaningless “Hey, I agree! And come read my post at …” comment — that doesn’t add to the conversation, doesn’t even demonstrate that someone actually read my post. I delete those spamilicious comments before they appear publicly.

    Building an audience is hard,and depends on a lot of factors, some of which are out of your control. I don’t have any magic answer. I hope some Keepa readers do check out your blog — always available through the link in your name whenever you leave a comment (in case some readers don’t realize that). The connection between our subjects may not be as strong as it seems on the surface, though — I post old LDS literature because it is part of our past, not because it necessarily merits being remembered for its literary qualities. Enjoying the historical flavor of an old story or poem might not necessarily translate directly into wanting to discuss literature as literature.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — December 6, 2012 @ 5:34 pm

  14. I think Mark is not spammer. He just requested for guest post, and it is not the spam at all. If you don’t like it, don’t accept it. But, making fun of someone is totally an unprofessional approach.

    [“Lay” and “Mark” share an IP in Uttar Pradesh, India. Spam — and spammers — are fair game for laughter, when they do something funny instead of merely nasty. There is no redeeming value to what they do. They are deceitful in every aspect: “Mark” used/uses fake names, he falsely asserted he was a reader of Keepa, he falsely claimed he could write anything of interest to this audience, and he cobbled together the most bizarre bit of machine-translated absurdity it has ever been my pleasure to read. So we laugh, and move on. Move on, spammer. — AEP]

    Comment by Lay — December 6, 2012 @ 10:18 pm