Motorist: “I ran over your cat and I want to replace him.”

Housewife: “Well, get busy. There’s a mouse in the cupboard.”

—oooOooo—

What is the best thing for hives?

Bees.

.

.

—oooOooo—

Paul: Why didn’t you put a blue patch on your blue pants instead of a pink one?

Quincy: That isn’t a pink patch. That’s me!

—oooOooo—

Unez: How did you break your arm?

Vernon: Do you see those stairs over there?

Unez: Yes.

Vernon: Well, I didn’t.

—oooOooo—

.

.

—oooOooo—

Why is it bad to write on an empty stomach?

Paper is better.

—oooOooo—

Ken: “I had the radio on last night.”

Larry: “Did it fit?”

Doctor: “How is the little boy who swallowed the half dollar?”

Nurse: “No change yet, doctor.”

—oooOooo—

.

.

—oooOooo—

Mother: “Larry, be a good boy and say ‘ah’ for the doctor so he can get his finger out of your mouth.”

—oooOooo—

Little Dan getting ready for school: “Mother, I’ve finished washing. What shirt shall I put on?”

Mother: “Pick a short-sleeved one.”

Little Dan: “I can’t. I just washed for long sleeves.”

—oooOooo—

.

.