Give me a break.

As someone who never wanted my father to “excersize” the priesthood because it always meant being told that I had to do what my father wanted because God agreed with my father, I always felt alienated during lessons like this about perfect marriages and perfect families.

I still don’t attend church on Father’s Day. I was asked to speak on Father’s Day once. I was asked 6 or 7 weeks early. The first councilor wasn’t taking no for an answer so I suggested I write my talk and give it to him the following Sunday to look over. The topic was “How my father and the priesthood changed my life.” After reading my talk I was asked to speak in July, and tithing, instead of giving a talk on Father’s Day.

I don’t want to sound like I am against fathers and the priesthood. I hold good fathers and righteous priesthood leaders. In fact, I think we need many more of them than we have in the church, and lessons that aren’t clear about what it is that makes a righteous father and priesthood holder, rather than someone who contributes sperm and had a ordination ceremony is not discussed often enough, and seems to be left out of most primary and YW lessons. I have some hope that the new curriculum will do a better job of helping both YW and YM to learn the difference between someone who righteously administers the priesthood and unrighteous dominion.

(And just to be a little snarky, if someone said something like this, I would be likely to tell them to stop being self righteous and smug.

When Mr. and Mrs. Johnson and Pat and Rey were finally on their way, Pat turned to Rey in the back seat and said, “Didn’t I tell you that our father would know what to do, and that everything would be all right?”

Rey answered and said, “It is funny none of the other men could figure out what to do. Do you suppose it was because our father held the priesthood that the Lord was better able to inspire him?”

Pat did not answer, but Rey could tell by the look on her face that she was thinking that the greatest blessing in the world was to have a father who held the priesthood of God.

I am not sure I could do a big enough eye roll to express my disgust with that kind of self satisfied smugness. It is the same thing I see when women tell me that none of their children have been sexually assaulted or raped because they had parents who “raised them right.” I even had someone use that expression while telling me that her children would not be allowed to play with mine when she found out I led rape support groups, because she didn’t want her children around people whose minds were filled with “the filth that those kind of people talk about.”

As you can tell, this hit several nerves. I went back and forth, almost hoping someone else would comment with something that I could just agree with. Then I realized that I was being hypocritical. My blog post today is about how important it is to follow promptings to share things, even when they are difficult. If I can share that, then certainly I should be able to give honest feedback.

(If you are interested in that post you can go to http://www.poetrysansonions.com/2012/11/my-mormon-perspective-power-of-ten.html?m=0 )