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“did mormans invent jello”

By: Ardis E. Parshall - June 07, 2012

Please forgive the late posting this morning – it was one of those nights. Ready for a laugh? At least I hope it provokes a laugh, and some headscratching. I’ve been prowling again through the search terms that bring people to Keepa.


To get it out of the way, yes, people are still looking for the marijuana post. And the folks looking are sometimes the worst spellers using Google, yet they still find us:

mormons and marijuana
mormon marijuana
mormonism and marijuana
mormons and weed
did joseph smith smoke weed
marijuana mormon
mormon prohibition marijuana
mormon utah marijuana law
brigham young quote about hemp
church of cannabis revised edition
church of jesus christ of latter day saints marijuana
did joseph smith smoke marijuana
did mormons really go to mexico to get weed
first state to outlaw marijuana utah or ca
is eating weed against the book of mormon
is it against the lds church to smoke marijuana
is the lds church against marijuana legalization
marijuana and mormons
marijuana joseph smith
marijuana use among mormons
mormonism and weed
mormans weed
mormon beliefs in marijuana
mormon beliefs on marijuana
mormon church and marijuana use
mormon church marijuana
mormon church on marijuanna
mormon weed
mormonism marijuana
mormonism marajuana
mormons against pot
mormons are allowed to smoke pot?
mormons cannabis
mormons marijuana
mormons marjuana
mormons on marijunna
mormons view marijuana
talmage marijuana
why is weed bad in the mormon church?

At least that one’s predictable. But why are so many people searching for information on the Chilean earthquake of 1960? This list doesn’t even cover all the queries, which sometimes show up in Cyrillic and other scripts (they usually contain “9.5” and/or “1960,” tipping me off to the subject of the search).

chile earthquake 1960
1960 chile earthquake
1960 valdivia earthquake
chilean earthquake 1960
the great chilean earthquake
great chilean earthquake 1960
1960 chilean earthquake
1960 earthquake in chile
earthquake in chile 1960
terremoto chile 1960
terremoto in cile 1960
valdivia 1960
valdivia chile earthquake
valdivia earthquake 1960
chile 1960 earthquake
chile earthquake 1960 aid
sismo de valdivia de 1960
terremoto valdivia
terremoto valdivia 1960
the chile earthquake 1960
the great chilean earthquake 1960
‘1960 earthquake’ aid
1960 chile earthquake aid
1960 chilean earthquake, chile
1960 chilean earthquakes
1960 valdivia earthquake chile
9.5 chile earthquake
chile 1960
chile 1960 earthquake- victims
chile earthquakes 1960
chile may 22, 1960
chile valdivia terremoto
chile, 1860 – magnitude 9.5
chiile’s earthquake 1960
chile’s earthquake in 1960
earthquake chile 1960
earthquake of chile 1960
fotos terremoto valdivia 1960
gran terremoto de chile 1960
may 22 1960 chile earthquake
pics from the chile 1960 earthquake
pics of the earthquake in chile of 1960
pictures of the 1960 chile earthquake
pictures of the great chilean earthquake
responses from government to 1960 great chilean earthquake red cross
southern chile: may 22, 1960 magnitude 9.5
terremoto 9.5
terremoto de chile 1960
terremoto de valdivia chile
the 1960 valdivia earthquake
the earthquake in chile 1960
the great chilean earthquake of 1960
valdivia chile earthquake 1960 pictures

And this is an odd developing trend:

intermountain boiler
intermountain boiler co utah
boiler company customer service
boilder manufacture Salt Lake city
boiler parts supply Salt Lake city utah
boiler sales Salt Lake city
boilers utah
company boiler
intermountain boiler company, inc.
intermountain boiler utah
intermountain boiler works
intermountain boiler
precision boiler rep in utah
state boiler population

Okay, those aren’t funny, except for the puzzlement. Here’s one that’s funny:

mormon jeweled underwear

Ouch!

Not so many people are looking for me by name these days, but they seem to be searching for some of you (or in some cases, perhaps, someone who shares your name):

gary james bergera
sunstone bergera sex
is gary james bergera a member of the lds church
love sex transgression bergera

kevin barney ice special agent
“polly aird”
ami tanner thiriot
w paul reeve
bruce crow amateur mormon historian

Or, if they’re not looking for you by name, they’re looking for the guest posts you wrote:

“for I am the mormon coon”
col cornelius gilliam
“I raise mine ebenezer”
ebenezer rituals and traditions
“jean rio griffiths baker”
jean rio diary
evacuation plan for missionaries
(although this last post is not labeled as a guest post, the document was shared with me by a reader who didn’t wish to have his/her name indicated)
women of faith in the latter days
book-women of faith in the latter-days
brittany a chapman
mormon shawl
paisley textile
(these could refer either to Maurine’s post, or Polly Aird’s)

And the queries for Amy Tanner Thiriot’s posts on Romney’s polygamous heritage, or her Eminent Women series, or Mormon slavery, are so numerous that they deserve their own category:

anne fairfax washington lee
ann fairfax
anne fairfax wshington
brian stuy eminent men wilford woodruff dialogue
charlotte corday
fairfax washington-daughter of lawrence washington
george lee anne fairfax washington
the eminent women of st george temple
where did martha washington might have been
women of distinction st george temple

alex bankhead 1878 abraham o smoot
dan bankhead freeman
marinda slave
slave owners named redd

romney polygamy
colonia dublam romney allred
compton romney polygamous
romney polygamous heritage
compton romney heritage
hannah hood hill romney
isabell romney platt, thatcher, az
miles p romney polygamist
mitt romney grand fathers wifes
mitt romney polygamy
mitt romney polygamy tanner
mitt romney polygamy tree tanner
mitt romney sons
mitt romneys polygamist legacy
parley pratt polygamy romney
romney mormon compound
romney polygamy brief
romney polygamy compton
romney polygamy thiriot
romney polygamy underage
romney’s grandfather a polygamist
romney’s polygamist past
romney’s polygamous ancestors
romney’s polygamy past
thiriot romney polygamous

I don’t think Amy can claim credit for this bizarre question, though:

mitt romney’s german ancestors fought on wrong side of american revolution

I’m pleased that people found this post in response to these queries:

“the downwinders” fallout
may 2012 downwinders compensatiuon
may 2012 utah downwinders compensation

I was finally able to show the Walkers their post (they don’t normally use a computer) the other day, and they and their children were both pleased and awed by your response. Thanks for that.

For various reasons, I am delighted to see that people were searching for these topics, and that there was a post there for them to find:

kangas killed in viet nam
vincent musaalo
gertrude zippro

golden gleaners and master m men
golden gleaner award
m men gleaners manual
lds church master m man program
where to purchase golden gleaner

bamiyan buddhas
astronaut paper doll
butch cassidy mormon
1926 man swallowed by shark
no other organization is so perfect as the mormon church

did moroni visit manti
moroni dedicated the manti temple site
moroni wandering
brigham young moroni manti temple

lds genealogy of barak obama
obama lds genealogy
stanley ann dunham family tree

dressing a dead body
dressing the deceased
dressing someone for burial lds
dressing the dead body
how do you dress a dead person
lds dressing the dead
ressing the dead latter day saints
traditional lds burial veil

holes in granite cottonwood canyon
dust bowl saskatchewan

george washington’s vision and the mormon church
prophecy george washington anthony sherman

Should I be concerned that Keepa is a go-to website for these?

mild drinks made of barley
mild drink made from barley morman
mild drinks
mild drinks and beer in the early mormon church

I am sometimes amazed by the specificity of some searches:

beehive uniform of lds girls in 1912

being gay in 1959

Since the Beehive Girls did not exist in 1912, I wonder what was behind that one? And was being gay in 1959 so very, very different from other years that someone would expect to find that specific information?

Some searchers write whole dissertations in the search box:

save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, aner, eshcol, and mamre; let them take their portion

a house of love seek learning even by study and by faitha house of fasting seek diligently and teach one another words of wisdom a house of god a house of meditation a house of pondering

the saints and politics: it becomes a question of some importance in these days whether the latter-day saints can divide on politics and still be latter-day saints, still have fellowship for one another and still preserve that respect one for the other than the gospel requires

the first time I ever saw anthony sherman was on the 4th of July 1859, on independence square he was then ninety-one and becoming very feeble; but though so old, his dimming eyes rekindled as he looked in independence hall, which, he said, he had come to gaze upon once more before he was gathered home

I should be very glad that people are researching urban legends. The first one, though, is not one I have heard before!

men attempt by helicopter to steal angel moroni off of the Salt Lake temple
temple angel bullet holes

Should I look at these as also being investigations of legends?

17 miracles flawed
17 miracles albert
17 miracles crutches
17 miracles jerky story
17 miracles screenplay
17 miracles, story of man who gave woman some meat
albert in 17 miracles
albert seventeen miracles
lds 17 miracles story of daughter who died then came back
list of the 17 miracles in the lds movie
midget robert pearce
quiet man in back who saw angels among the donnor party
was albert the midget a real character in the willey handcart company
what were the 17 miracles
willey handcart company albert midget

I’m especially fascinated when people enter full questions and let me get a clearer view of what is on their minds:

how can I make my gospel doctrine lessons more interesting?
are there mormon symbols on the nuskin building in provo utah
at what age did alma richards start doing the high jump
can jesus understand
did mormans invent jello
does alvin c. york still have any living relatives
how about polygamy
how do you submit names for temple work
how does god view old maids
how long does it take to get from linberg to the lds london temple
how to visit zelph mound
is beer considered a mild drink?
is the angel moroni always over the celestial room
is the lds 1939 priesthood mannual real
mormon men lynched for promoting slavery?
should missionaries write girls while on a mission
was the coon chicken inn mormon
what are mormon flies
what did the stripling warriors teach their sons
what direction does angel moroni’s trumpet face
what do the bronze medallions on the washington dc mormon temple symbolize?
what is a scholarly discussion
what is an ardois pastry
what is form 138
what is interesting about lds business college
what is the basic gospel docgtrine?
what is the language of masons
what is the mesa arizona temple made out of?
what lesson is my ward on

This time, though, even those questions do not hold the highest place in my affections. No, my very favorite queries of the past month have to be these:

awesome lds history
mormon history best

My head swells, knowing that Google sent those queries to Keepa!



12 Comments »

  1. Kevin Barney is an ICE special agent? Who knew?

    Comment by iguacufalls — June 7, 2012 @ 10:35 am

  2. *Somebody* did — but not me!

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — June 7, 2012 @ 10:36 am

  3. what is an ardois pastry

    I don’t know what that is, but I know who. :)

    Comment by Carol — June 7, 2012 @ 10:50 am

  4. At least they spell amateur correctly.

    I have to say that Google doesn’t send me nearly as many interesting terms as they direct to you. I do like the full question ones.

    Comment by Bruce Crow — June 7, 2012 @ 10:55 am

  5. If they’re looking for Mormon jeweled underwear, just send them over to my new stay-at-home Mormon mom underwear craft site, staysexyforyoureternalcompanion.com.

    (I hope that’s not a real site, because I really don’t want to check.)

    Comment by Michelle Glauser — June 7, 2012 @ 11:05 am

  6. Awww, I feel so sorry for those poor readers who didn’t find what they were looking for. : )

    I had a little time today in-between events, and went back and read some of the linked posts. Magnificent! Funny! Touching!

    Maurine’s post on the paisley shawl was very interesting to read again, as was the commentary on “Pack the Books/Ship the Books.”

    What a collection you’ve assembled, Ardis!

    Comment by Amy T — June 7, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  7. Sunstone Bergera Sex? I’m afraid to ask for any details … The answer to the query contained in the third line is yes.

    Comment by Gary Bergera — June 7, 2012 @ 11:26 am

  8. All we need to do is call one of your serialized fictions posts a “potboiler,” and now we can link the marijuana and the boiler sales queries.

    And I am waiting for the definitive answer about “Did Mormons invwent Jello?”

    Comment by kevinf — June 7, 2012 @ 2:02 pm

  9. No,kevinf, I think it was invented by MORMANS. Bartholomew Mormans, to be precise.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — June 7, 2012 @ 2:10 pm

  10. I think these searches could give you some good ideas for potential posts. Not that you’re ever lacking with all the great historical research you do.

    Comment by Michelle Glauser — June 7, 2012 @ 3:01 pm

  11. I just had someone hit my blog with the search term “describe your sweet mormon boy.” While I was inclined to take that as a compliment, it actually hit my piece on the youthful indiscretions of Romney and Obama – the “sweet” part being the smell of non-Mormon weed.

    Comment by Grant — June 9, 2012 @ 9:01 am

  12. This one? (Grant is modest about linking)

    Gotta wonder what your searcher was really looking for, since those are NOT the words I would have searched to find that particular piece! ha!

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — June 9, 2012 @ 9:23 am

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