I’m not absolutely certain whether this was written by a pseudonymous Mormon author — I think it was — or merely printed approvingly by a Mormon editor:
By “Banbury Cross”
What nonsense is this about “women’s rights”?
Have done with such frothy argumentation:
Do you think, forsooth, that by wordy flights
You can upset facts and organization?
Nature is Nature; and you may preach
As long as you like about “equality”;
You’ll never grow clever enough to teach
The power of burking Nature’s polity.
I’m a brute? Ah, well, madam, as you choose:
I bow politely to your correction:
You claim an inherent right to abuse,
And I, to write for your calm reflection.
Pray listen, dear lady, to what you’ll find
Are truths (though, of course, you’ll strive to flout them):
Mankind and oaks were made to be twin’d,
And women and ivy to twine about them.
Establish “equality” between
Creation’s lords and aspiring ladies
To-day; and to-morrow ‘twould be seen
(Or I’ll submit to be sent to Hades)
That in spite of all the quips and cranks
Of spouting, crinolin’d salamanders,
The girls would glide back into the ranks,
And the men would somehow be commanders.
Let a storm and shipwreck dark peril bring,
(Here stubbornest facts sustain my pen),
So long as the men to the vessel cling,
The weaker sex will cling to the men.
But, mark! If the men from the danger flee,
By a headlong plunge into boat or billow,
The women will follow confidingly,
E’en though it be to a watery pillow.
Believe me, my sisters, the cause you plead
Runs wholly counter to Nature’s plan:
‘Tis man’s prerogative ever to lead –
Your mission is ever to follow man.
Then let reformers prate away
Of “equal rights” in homes or nations:
Their blatant tongues can never sway
God’s code of all-wise regulations.