More seirously, i think that just saying something like “It’s Ardis—but sorry, i really need some time to think right now.”

I have to say, though, that grabbing someone’s shoulder to get their attention (as you described) seems a bit, well, off to me. For people that abrupt, there may be nothing you can do. Perhaps have your open scriptures on your lap, whether or not you’re actually reading them? If you’re engaged in something that’s visibly an activity, you may have more luck.

To expand slightly on what i said earlier, though, reverence can mean a lot of different things to different people. For some, it’s a deeply and profoundly individual act. For me, yeah, reverence can be an individual thing, but it’s at its strongest when it’s a communal experience. Of course, i don’t know that i’m with Clark in defining reverence as “a deep respect for”—i see it as being something more like “worshipfulness”. Of course, worshipfulness itself means different things to different people, so we’re back at the beginning… (And even if we accept Clark’s definition, we run into the problem of trying to balance some people’s need for silence with others’ need for community.)

Oh—and another voice in favor of cry rooms here. I know that they’ve fallen out way of fashion in religious architecture, but anytime i’ve been to weddings and funerals with my kids in the (Catholic) church right by where i grew up, the cry room has been a marvelous thing.

I think that the challenge of reverence is exacerbated by the fact that with the 3-hour-block, no time is allowed for socializing and greeting. The OP notes the “close relationship as brothers and sisters.. beget[s] noisy sociability.” There is no outlet for this–or the myriad odds-and-ends of business (notes form the ward clerk, a comment from the primary president, etc.)during the block, so it naturally spills into the prelude and postlude time surrounding sacrament.

Oh, and I love the cry rooms that some older chapels have. I think that such a space would do wonders for increasing reverence.

My favored solution, i suppose, would be for everyone to simply let everyone else know what they need. I’m suspecting, though, that that’s simply because of my own gregariousness, and it might be a bit more difficult for the introverted to find that a workable plan. Others’ thoughts?

Prelude music…I’d like to hear that again.

If somebody is smiling and trying to catch people’s eyes and reaching out a hand to shake, that’s one thing. But if somebody is sitting quietly, maybe with her eyes closed and maybe with a look of concentration on her face, it would be a matter of courtesy, I think, for people to refrain from grabbing her shoulder and giving her a rude shake as they announce that they’ve been working on remembering her name, “so welcome to church, Sister Purcel — it’s Ardeth, right?”

But if other people feel that those minutes are an imposition forced on them by someone in the hierarchy, something which stifles their natural gregariousness, I can understand why they might not recognize my own preference for stillness.

In (what’s the word?—not contradiction, maybe problematization) to the sentiments in #2 and #3, i’d suggest that everyone pay attention to the video feed in the minutes preceding general conference sessions (aside, of course, from the Sunday morning one). You’ll see the general authorities of all levels sitting in their seats, chatting quietly with each other, even (gasp and shock!) laughing. In general, when President Monson comes in, you’ll see him chat with people as he’s on his way to his seat.

Given all that, i have to wonder whether we’re really supposed to sit as ultra-quietly in the chapel as some of our local church leaders like to tell us.

I thought this set of rules holds up extremely well 50 years after the fact, and was very well written, too. (The phrase “there is evidence that many are yet in the learning process of acquiring these attributes,” is more charitable than I would have written it!)

Finally, I like that this line “This respect for churches and people is a visible component of reverence,” implies that there are other, invisible components of reverence as well.

It is an insult to a meeting for persons to leave just before its close. If they must go out, let them go half an hour before. No gentlemen will go out of a meeting just at closing. –p.287

Original source stated as “DHC 5:338-339 (April 7, 1843.)”

My father was frequently away on ship as he was in the Navy, and so my mother would attend church with the 5 kids. Her friend was in a similar situation, but with 6 kids. So the two of them would take over a pew and sit at each end to corral us. My mother used these rules as well.