Comments on: Be Honest With Yourself: More Precious Than Rubies http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/ Where our past is never very long ago Tue, 03 Mar 2015 00:48:49 +0000 hourly 1 By: Ardis E. Parshall http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-252408 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:08:22 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-252408 That’s part of the problem with people equating virtue with virginity. For most young people in typical. The two concepts may be tied together in the lives of most young unmarried Latter-day Saints, but they are *two* *different* qualities! The victim of abuse hasn’t lost his or her virtue, a married person still needs to have and develop virtue, and repentant sinners (not victims, but sinners) can regain purity and virtue in every meaningful sense along with their repentance and return to a virtuous life.

I think we do need to talk about the Atonement in connection with having been abused, if only to help survivors realize that Christ’s sacrifice was to made to right all wrongs. We usually talk about the Atonement as righting the wrongs we all do as sinners — but it’s also meant to bring comfort and make whole the lives of people who have been wronged. A survivor has no need to repent of acts of violation, but she does need to take strength from the Savior’s sacrifice to heal her from every type of injury. IMO.

]]>
By: Julia http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-252388 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:24:21 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-252388 I started writing and realized if I included all my thoughts, it would be several posts worth.

Basically, this is what touched off my almost visceral response in seeing this advertisement. The increase in discussions, within the survivor community, since virtue was added to the young women’s values, is part of why I see the church’s systematic dealings with sexual abuse survivors as ambiguous in some ways. Saying something should be one way, without giving practical implementation steps leaves a lot of room for Troglodytes to subject survivors to the “wrong side” of the Atonement.

Chastity, Virtue and Purity are concepts that are hard for most survivors of incest or systematic molestation. I wish that “the full support of the community” really was given to abuse survivors, but it is not the experience that many survivors have. I have always wished that when discussing mourning with those that mourn there was some clear direction that survivors of any kind of abuse belong in the mourning category, and not in the “must need to repent of something” category.

]]>
By: Ardis E. Parshall http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-252162 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 01:46:22 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-252162 Julia, I found a sermon today from as long ago as the 1850s teaching that the fault lay entirely with the man when a woman was drugged or forced (they didn’t use the word rape, but I thought it was interesting that drugging was on the radar) — and teaching that the victim was entirely innocent and deserved the support of the community.

And I don’t think there is one iota of ambiguity in the Church’s view of victims today. Being a victim of rape or molestation in no way compromises virtue. That isn’t to say that you won’t find the occasional slack-jawed back-woods troglodyte who teaches otherwise, but in that case they are teaching contrary to Church belief. See the Church’s statement on abuse for a summary.

]]>
By: Julia http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-252158 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 01:33:06 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-252158 I am curious if you have ever found documents, from that time period, relating to rape/molestation and how the church viewed that as it pertains to virtue. Has it always been as ambiguous as it is now, or was it even worse then?

Julia

]]>
By: Moniker Challenged http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-64959 Wed, 18 May 2011 20:51:44 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-64959 Two thoughts: #1 *gag*. #2 My parents-in-law had the same haircuts in their wedding picture- ha! That hairdo looks fairly straightforward compared to many of the decade before and after. I’m frankly mystified by the coiffure of the 40s-60s. Maybe you could provide how-to guides for popular styles through the ages, Ardis :-)

]]>
By: David B http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-64952 Wed, 18 May 2011 20:06:27 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-64952 @jks: Yeah, i know, and i recognize that i overstated my reaction. But it still annoys me whenever i hear this meme—there’s got to be a much, much better way of getting the point across.

]]>
By: jks http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-64915 Wed, 18 May 2011 18:17:34 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-64915 I like that it emphasizes chastity in both men and women. No double standard!

Of course full repentance is possible. However, you can’t escape all of the earthly consequences of sin both for the sinner and the innocent who are affected by the sin.

]]>
By: Sgarff http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-64901 Wed, 18 May 2011 17:24:58 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-64901 Nice to see the church doing De Beers commercials.

]]>
By: David B http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2011/05/18/be-honest-with-yourself-more-precious-than-rubies/comment-page-1/#comment-64898 Wed, 18 May 2011 17:18:31 +0000 http://www.keepapitchinin.org/?p=5903#comment-64898 Glad to know that full repentance continues to be impossible.

]]>