Keepapitchinin, the Mormon History blog » Would a Woman Named Ardis Wear a Hooded Cloak?

Would a Woman Named Ardis Wear a Hooded Cloak?

By: Ardis E. Parshall - February 12, 2011

When I saw that query in this morning’s statistical report, I knew it was time for another stroll through the wonderful world of “What brings YOU to Keepa?” All of the following comes from the list of search terms that brought readers to Keepa via Google during the past 30 days. (If any of these are your searches, don’t cringe – I can’t tell who was looking for what, only what terms resulted in someone’s visit to the blog.)

I notice that despite more than two and a half years of posting, the spelling of Keepapitchinin, or its address at least, still poses problems. Some people had to Google us to find

keep a pitchin in
keepa pitch in
keep on pitchin
keepapitchinin the mormon history blog
keepapitchinin blog

Some searchers are obviously hunting something they’ve seen on Keepa before:

“valley forge” “
map of moroni’s travel keepapitchinin
ardis rant about scriptural literalism
three fold mission
keepapitchinin beards
keepapitchinin jello
keepapitchinin nietzsche
mission home salt lake city keepapitchinin
ardis e parshall james j tissot

Wonder what this Googler had in mind?

“ardis e. parshall” brigham young dresses

I’ll take this one as a compliment:

ardis parshall how to write history well-written

The number of these searches makes me grin:

mormon beard contest
1860’s style beard
bearded best in show
best beard prize
best beards
orson pratt’s beard
mormon beards

Some people come here looking for you, too:

polly aird
paradox “maryland stake”
“nitsav” “keepapitchinin”
a suitable program was noted kevin folkman
bruce crow on amateur mormon historian blog
kevin folkman lds
pine cone story

Some of us will always wonder, though, whether this searcher was relieved or disappointed:

kevin barney obituary utah

It’s a little surprising that so many people ran this search – and I’m pleased they were rewarded by finding this post.

boom get a rat trip bigger than a cat trap
boom with a rat trap
get a rap trap that’s bigger than a cat trap
what is the rest of rat trap cat trap

And as ever, I’m touched that this post continues to be found by those who need it:

dressing a deceased mormon
dressing endowed members for burial
dressing the dead
dressing the dead for viewing
mormon death dressing

You’re waiting for this list, right? Well, yeah, that old most visited post has not been neglected this month:

joseph smith marijuana
whitebread mormon marijuana
“mormon national tabernacle in washington”
marijuana lds
“mormons” “marijuana”
mormons for marijuana
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mormon battalion marijuana
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lds church and marijuana
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pro medical marijuana mormons
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mormons and weed
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lds medical marijuana marijuana
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mormon marijuana/cannabis
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lds position on medical marijuania
lds view on medical marijuana
are mormons against marijuana
are mormons against marijuana?
did joseph smith marijuana
marijuana and mormons
marijuana mormons
james e talmage hashish

Although most posts are invisible by comparison, it’s nice to know that one-of-a-kind Keepa posts were out there on teh interwebz, just waiting for the people who ran these searches:

american canned pork and beans history
was moroni ever in manti
lincoln’s grave robbers
there’s no such thing as a witch song
the great flood of willard utah of 1923
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mormon attitude to menstruation

Even a Funny Bones post can be just what a seeker needs:

pueribus kissibus

I don’t know what page this Googler landed on:

history of mormon church in west virginia

but I’m tickled that whatever he or she found was pleasing enough to result in the reading of *35* posts within the Keepa website on that visit.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t have anything to satisfy the needs of these searchers:

zulu tribes naked women
execution by drowning formerly in france
19th century dirty jokes
fermented postum
I want to know where robert mudget lives

The searcher looking for:

moroni olsen’s wife

found a post about Moroni Olsen, but, alas, nothing about a wife. He wasn’t married.

And this searcher:

collection of semen from oxen

undoubtedly found this post and its comments, but not the technical information he may have been looking for.

The grammar of this one inadvertently suggests polyandry, doesn’t it?

why do muslim men make their wife ride in the back seat of the car?

I was right there with the searcher who wanted:

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until I saw that my posted artwork wouldn’t satisfy, as the full search entered was:

israelites destroyed golden calf photos

Sorry, dude, my Kodak was out of film the day Moses came down from Sinai.

Some Googlers type practically a whole dissertation into the search box:

line ascends as you approach the mormon country, until you come to “soldiers’ summit,” which marks the spot where united states troops were placed in order to overawe the mormons in 1858

(um, no it doesn’t), while others write editorials:

mormonism is the wackiest religions of all

And my favorite category, the searches phrased as questions:

are all angel moronis leafed with gold
are old german book of mormons valuable
did you have to pay to belong to the lds relief society
do mormans really believe the moroni angel story?
do mormons have to give blood samples
is gene autry mormon?
how did the utah war end
is mark edward kelly jewish
why are there pacific islander mormons
what is the name of the harlot that corianton was associated with?
was fred mcmurray mormon
who is corianton
where did the gold leaf come from for the angel moroni
when did the lds stop using glass sacrament cups?
what the tabernacle curtains looked like
what is the nutritional information for mormon johnnycake?
how many hymns were written by mormons
how much gold is on the angel moroni
how to clean sacrament trays
why is angel moroni facing west
why wont lds account access other stakes
what kinds of disabilities allow mormon couples to refrain from having children?

As for the question with which we started,

would a woman named ardis wear a hooded cloak?

why, yes, this one would, if it came in a nice charcoal gray, medium-weight wool, with a silky lining. Thanks for asking.

And thanks for visiting.



  1. Amazing list! How do you find all this out?

    Comment by Polly Aird — February 12, 2011 @ 1:57 pm

  2. I use Google Analytics, which reports data like how many visitors come each day, how many views each page gets, how long visitors spend viewing a given page, things like that. One of the features lists all the searches that brought readers to Keepa. I suppose its intended purpose is to tell me why people visit so that I can load up my pages with the most sought after terms. Mostly, though, I use it for giggles.

    This is a small fraction of the searches that bring people, and many of these searches were run multiple times (211 people looked for “keepapitchinin”; 10 looked for “ruth farnsworth guam”; 27 wanted “lds historians press,” and so on).

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — February 12, 2011 @ 2:04 pm

  3. Ardis, awesome. (As always.)

    Comment by Paul — February 12, 2011 @ 3:00 pm

  4. “ardis e. parshall” brigham young dresses

    This was actually me! I came across a photo of 10 daughters of Brigham Young, all wearing similar dresses. I could have sworn that you had posted a similar photo. I couldn’t find it though.

    Comment by J. Stapley — February 12, 2011 @ 3:11 pm

  5. Quadruple A, Paul!

    It’s a relief, J., to know that you weren’t picturing Brigham in dresses … The only picture I can think of with ten of BY’s daughters is this one, but their dresses aren’t especially similar. If you know of another group, I’d sure like to see it in a post or elsewhere.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — February 12, 2011 @ 3:35 pm

  6. I’d say those dresses are very similar in style, but not necessarily in print. There is either a very wide and low neckline (shoulder line?) or a white segment at the top of each, full sleeves that are gathered back in, narrow waists, full skirts, etc.

    Comment by kew — February 12, 2011 @ 3:44 pm

  7. “map of moroni’s travel keepapitchinin” was I. I was talking about folklore concerning the deposit of the plates in upstate NY and wanted to show a friend that enigmatic document…

    Comment by Mina — February 12, 2011 @ 4:25 pm

  8. You’re right about the similarity of dress pattern, of course, kew.

    And I didn’t mean for this to be True Confessions time, but it *is* fun to have you claim your search, Mina.

    I’ll bet nobody steps up to claim the “fermented Postum,” though!

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — February 12, 2011 @ 4:45 pm

  9. Yeah, I was intrigued by the shoulderlessness. Here is the copy that I came across, labeled, “The Big Ten.”

    Comment by J. Stapley — February 12, 2011 @ 4:50 pm

  10. Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. (This was a hoot, Ardis; many thanks!)

    Comment by Kevin Barney — February 12, 2011 @ 5:32 pm

  11. Love this!

    Comment by ESO — February 12, 2011 @ 7:18 pm

  12. Thanks for the laughs! Funny post, and lots of fun reading some of those old posts.

    Comment by Researcher — February 12, 2011 @ 7:21 pm

  13. Fun post. I like to peek into my stats and have a good time with them, too. Sometimes I’ll get completely unintelligible search strings and wonder a) what the person was looking for, and b) what post they arrived at.

    Comment by Keri Brooks — February 12, 2011 @ 9:28 pm

  14. I had fun reading this, but I still can’t figure out what the searcher was looking for with “would a woman named ardis wear a hooded cloak?”

    Comment by Maurine Ward — February 12, 2011 @ 10:38 pm

  15. I suspect a mischievous Googler who knows Ardis looks at her stats…

    Comment by Alison — February 13, 2011 @ 10:31 am

  16. What a good question. Does our name evoke this image of a hooded cloak somehow? I could see it.

    Comment by Ardis S. — February 13, 2011 @ 3:22 pm

  17. Every time you do this I have to go look at my stats. They’re never as fun as this though.

    Comment by Bruce Crow — February 13, 2011 @ 6:35 pm

  18. “what is the nutritional information for mormon johnnycake?”

    For whatever reason, that one really cracked me up. Although it wasn’t the only one!

    I loved this, Ardis.

    Comment by Michelle — February 14, 2011 @ 12:29 am

  19. I love looking over the analytics, but I’m not sure whether to be pleased or worried that most searches seem to come to my site researching “self-hatred” and depression. I think those posts are my version of your marijuana post.

    Comment by SilverRain — February 14, 2011 @ 8:05 am

  20. And now that I look at it, most of those who spend any length of time on my site from a search engine come looking for help with an abusive S.O. or searching for variations on “value of a woman”.

    I think I need to find a new topic to post on. I never intended to become a flagship for abuse. It’s supposed to be about the gospel.

    But reading the randomness that your blog is used for makes me feel a little better.

    Comment by SilverRain — February 14, 2011 @ 8:14 am

  21. Sorry, dude, my Kodak was out of film the day Moses came down from Sinai.

    This line is a classic, or should I say, “a keepa”?

    Comment by Clark — February 14, 2011 @ 9:38 am

  22. Someone in Pakistan came to my blog after using Google’s Pakistan (.pk) web site.

    The search words were: “bom making book in urdu”

    And the link he clicked on was titled “how-to-quick-start-guide”.

    Comment by Bookslinger — February 14, 2011 @ 9:58 am

  23. I’m proud to be associated with a site that attracts searchers looking for “kevin folkman lds” and “zulu tribes naked women”.

    Are we sure that Keepa wasn’t used as a target in the “Bing copies Google Searches” sting?

    Comment by kevinf — February 14, 2011 @ 10:32 am

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