Back to 1926 for more, uh, gems of humor from the church magazines:
He: “Could you take a joke seriously?”
She: “I scarcely know you yet.”
On the Way
Diner: “Where’s that chicken I ordered an hour ago?”
Waitress: “It’ll be here soon, sir. The cook hasn’t killed it yet, but she’s gotten in a couple of nasty blows.”
The Mean Thing!
He: “Say, you going to be busy this evening?”
She: “No, I’m not.”
He: “Then you won’t be tired in the morning, will you?”
Laying Up Treasures
“We doctors,” said the pompous surgeon at a dinner party, “have, I am afraid, many enemies in this world.”
“Oh, but far more in the next,” someone was heard to whisper.
“I think the new doctor’s a duck,” she remarked coyly.
“Well, I wouldn’t go as far as that,” said her husband, “but I will say I’ve noticed a bit of the quack about him.”
Now, Orrin, Be Good
Orrin (irritably, to wife): “Why do you feed every tramp that comes along? They never do anything for you.”
Fannie: “No, but it is a great satisfaction to me to see a man eat a meal without finding fault with the cooking.”
Fun in a Foto Gallery
A man went to have his photograph taken.
“Mounted or otherwise?” asked the photographer.
“Well, I’ll have it taken mounted,” replied the man, “but I don’t know what my wife will say; she’s never seen me on a horse before.”
Age a Contradiction
Editor: “Did you write these jokes?”
Would-be Contributor: “Yes, sir.”
Editor: “you must be older than you look.”
What Every Married Man Knows
Smith: “Before Goldie was married he said he’d be boss in his own house or know the reason why.”
Jones: “And now he’s married?”
Smith: “He knows the reason why.”
Couldn’t Serve a Crowd
A youth, who had reached the stage at which his voice was changing, went into a grocery. In a deep bass voice he demanded a sack of flour, then his voice changing suddenly to a high pitch, he added, “and a pound of butter.”
Just a minute, please,” said the clerk, “I can’t wait on both of you at once.”
A preacher, talking on the Ancient Prophets, leaned far over the pulpit and said: “We come now to the more complex question of the Minor Prophets. First, let us assign to them their proper order. Where, brethren, shall we place Hosea?”
An irascible man in a back pew rose, took his hat and stick, and said, as he departed: “Place him here, if you want to, I’m going.”
He (teaching her to drive): “In case of emergency, the first thing you want to do is to put on the brake.”
She: “Why, I thought it came with the car.”
Bjones: “I understand the girl you are engaged to is a twin. How do you tell the difference between her and her sister?”
Smiff: “Well, I don’t bother very much.”
Teacher: “What do we use soap for?”
Jimmie: “That’s what I’d like to know.”
There is something good about every man – even if it is only his own opinion of himself.
A Mere Detail
“Where did you absorb those principles of yours – at your mother’s knee?
“No; over my father’s.”
Enlightening the Urbanite
City Boarder: “I suppose you hatch all these chickens yourself?”
Farmer: “No. We keep hens for that purpose.”
Salesman: “Now I’ll throw in the clutch.”
Bored One: “Good. I knew you’d throw in something if I waited long enough.”