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Funny Bones, 1926 (2)

By: Ardis E. Parshall - August 14, 2010

Back to 1926 for more, uh, gems of humor from the church magazines:

He: “Could you take a joke seriously?”

She: “I scarcely know you yet.”

On the Way

Diner: “Where’s that chicken I ordered an hour ago?”

Waitress: “It’ll be here soon, sir. The cook hasn’t killed it yet, but she’s gotten in a couple of nasty blows.”

The Mean Thing!

He: “Say, you going to be busy this evening?”

She: “No, I’m not.”

He: “Then you won’t be tired in the morning, will you?”

Laying Up Treasures

“We doctors,” said the pompous surgeon at a dinner party, “have, I am afraid, many enemies in this world.”

“Oh, but far more in the next,” someone was heard to whisper.

Sure Symptoms

“I think the new doctor’s a duck,” she remarked coyly.

“Well, I wouldn’t go as far as that,” said her husband, “but I will say I’ve noticed a bit of the quack about him.”

Now, Orrin, Be Good

Orrin (irritably, to wife): “Why do you feed every tramp that comes along? They never do anything for you.”

Fannie: “No, but it is a great satisfaction to me to see a man eat a meal without finding fault with the cooking.”

Fun in a Foto Gallery

A man went to have his photograph taken.

“Mounted or otherwise?” asked the photographer.

“Well, I’ll have it taken mounted,” replied the man, “but I don’t know what my wife will say; she’s never seen me on a horse before.”

Age a Contradiction

Editor: “Did you write these jokes?”

Would-be Contributor: “Yes, sir.”

Editor: “you must be older than you look.”

What Every Married Man Knows

Smith: “Before Goldie was married he said he’d be boss in his own house or know the reason why.”

Jones: “And now he’s married?”

Smith: “He knows the reason why.”

Couldn’t Serve a Crowd

A youth, who had reached the stage at which his voice was changing, went into a grocery. In a deep bass voice he demanded a sack of flour, then his voice changing suddenly to a high pitch, he added, “and a pound of butter.”

Just a minute, please,” said the clerk, “I can’t wait on both of you at once.”

Placing Hosea

A preacher, talking on the Ancient Prophets, leaned far over the pulpit and said: “We come now to the more complex question of the Minor Prophets. First, let us assign to them their proper order. Where, brethren, shall we place Hosea?”

An irascible man in a back pew rose, took his hat and stick, and said, as he departed: “Place him here, if you want to, I’m going.”

Kar Fax

He (teaching her to drive): “In case of emergency, the first thing you want to do is to put on the brake.”

She: “Why, I thought it came with the car.”

Why Worry

Bjones: “I understand the girl you are engaged to is a twin. How do you tell the difference between her and her sister?”

Smiff: “Well, I don’t bother very much.”

Unanswered Yet

Teacher: “What do we use soap for?”

Jimmie: “That’s what I’d like to know.”

Something Good

There is something good about every man – even if it is only his own opinion of himself.

A Mere Detail

“Where did you absorb those principles of yours – at your mother’s knee?

“No; over my father’s.”

Enlightening the Urbanite

City Boarder: “I suppose you hatch all these chickens yourself?”

Farmer: “No. We keep hens for that purpose.”

Patience Rewarded

Salesman: “Now I’ll throw in the clutch.”

Bored One: “Good. I knew you’d throw in something if I waited long enough.”



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