Comments on: Proprieties and Usages of Good Society — Preliminary

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 03:33:46 +0000

mary, these are lessons for the young ladies of the church in 1902, between ages 15-25 (approximately). They teach principles of good behavior and introduce the girls to social situations that they may not yet have encountered, but they aren't traditional etiquette lessons. That is, they teach general principles rather than a lot of specific rules. We've posted about half of the lessons so far, with the next one scheduled for this Friday. The last lesson posted can be found here -- you can visit that lesson, then use the links at the top to work your way back through the earlier lessons.

By: mary

mary — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 03:21:26 +0000

some comments mention looking forward to this series of lessons…are these etiquette lessons? for kids? for teens? or adults. can you give me where and how I can get in on these lessons?

thanks! Mary

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:34:50 +0000

Sneak it in now via these lessons, Diane, and nobody will ever know!

By: Diane Peel

Diane Peel — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 06:18:51 +0000

I’m sure I really need a refresher course.

Question-can it really be a REFRESHER course if you’re sure you missed the first one? My days growing up in Young Women’s pre-dated, well, everything, etiquette nights and combined YM/YW activities and everything.

My service in YW consisted of serving as Ward Camp Director and um, the last year’s Ward Camp Director.

By: m&m

m&m — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 09:11:36 +0000

I wonder what would be an appropriate venue to teach the type of adult, real world, professional business and social behavior you mention?

This question stood out to me because I’m a business person by training, so here are some thoughts….

I have found some of this mentoring happening in my experiences volunteering mentoring business students. We do ‘mocktails’ with the students, hold networking activities and conferences, etc. But I am already thinking of things we could add and be more explicit about.

Does anyone think something like this could make a really cool RS meeting, though, maybe? I do, but I love this kind of stuff, or at least the business application. I’m a bit of a clutz in more formal, non-business social situations.

When I have served in YW, we have done etiquette nights before, and I did a little class on communications skills for a combined YM/YW activity.

And to jeans’ comment about the youth being the face of the Church — I think our world adds a whole significant dimension to that with new media. There are a set of rules for ‘virtual’ behavior that I think adds a level of complexity to social rules and graces. And I’ve been interested to see the Church addressing these things (blogging rules, anyone?)

By: Maurine

Maurine — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:53:09 +0000

I’m anxious to get into this series. My mother and her sisters would have been reading this information and it will help me understand what they were going through.

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:32:15 +0000

I hope this series lives up to expectations, ellen — I think it will, and I think most will be surprised at how few hard and fast rules the YLMIA leaders prescribed, and how much their ideas of good society were based on teaching correct principles and expecting the girls to govern themselves.

By: ellen

ellen — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:22:46 +0000

i can’t wait to see this series!

there are some absolutes in this arena (such as spitting), but truly, making others comfortable is the pinnacle of good manners.

one of my favorite quotations regarding formal rules of etiquette is attributed to many, although it’s probably bernard baruch: “those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter”.

By: Mina

Mina — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:03:11 +0000

I hope you share “How to participate in social discourse graciously, even with people who disagree,” when you feel you’ve mastered it, Coffinberry. I could use some lessons on that, too. I can’t seem to turn off my Death Glare.

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:55:56 +0000

Yup, asparagus. I remember that she said “yes, ma’am” and answered questions promptly and ran off barefoot to get the produce without keeping us waiting. I suppose that acknowledges the “superior/inferior” relationship of the OP, but also shows how inadequate those words are in our modern usage. There was certainly nothing subservient about the way she looked us in the eye and held her head up and was confident of her role as merchant. “There is no servility in true politeness,” and “the charm of fine manners will always win respect,” indeed.