Comments on: She Had a Question, 1897 (2nd set)

By: Justin

Justin — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:07:59 +0000

Catching her hand, and pressing it tenderly, I begged her to calm herself, and said I had read to her too long, and was sorry for it. “No, no!” she cried, clinging to me, and sobbing out her wild grief in my arms….Oh, Julia! I am now certain, that if I had never waltzed with him, I never, of necessity, should have become his wife!

Oh my. This scene reminds me of a passage from the LDS fiction of the period.

By: Maurine

Maurine — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:29:31 +0000

but you would have to stand and talk in the street to do this, and this is of itself a breach of good manners.

I think it would be a breach of good manners to talk to one person without introducing him or her to the other person.

By: queuno

queuno — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 01:00:13 +0000

I never knew the exchanging of pictures as being fraught with protocol. Today, we’re not going to make much of a big deal of Facebook friends. As long as they aren’t sexting…

By: Bruce Crow

Bruce Crow — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:03:03 +0000

An interesting take on the Word of Wisdom. I had not thought to consult William Clayton on the matter.

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:29:38 +0000

We’ve often mentioned how direct, how down-to-earth, how reasonable are the responses of Catherine Hurst in the later “Girl Query” department of the Journal. Without intending any disrespect to Mrs. Richards — her florid tone and seemingly overdrawn conclusions seem typical of much of what I read from that time, so she may have met the expectations of her readers and editors in a highly praiseworthy way — the contrast makes Catherine Hurst’s style, coming so soon afterward, all the more remarkable, doesn’t it?

By: kevinf

kevinf — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:01:06 +0000

I have to admit that the explanation of Willmia’s question about waltzing, finally told here, has a bit of the overwrought dramatics that I normally would suspect of being made up or a composite of several stories. However, I have no reason to think this is the case here. I do think, though, that our 1897 Miss Manners here may have exercised some editorial privilege in the retelling. Sad Story, but I suspect that there is much more than waltzing involved.

The answer about exchanging photographs and unwanted marriage proposals was interesting, especially the counsel that young women actively discourage potential suitors that she is not interested in, and “allow none of them to reach the point of being rejected lovers.” After watching a handful of Hallmark channel or Lifetime Channel romantic comedies with my wife (alas, nothing praiseworthy or of good report was on the SciFi channel), it would seem that multiple marriage proposals is a persistent fantasy, with the woman accepting a proposal from a less than suitable suitor while the right guy is prevented from doing so by honor or due to a misunderstanding.

Again, I see interesting gender stereotypes being reinforced here. Men who want to waltz are all bad, and women who fall into the trap of “round dancing” are otherwise powerless to refuse them their untoward advances. Not much subtlety or nuance in these earlier answers.