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Cultural Imperialism of a Terrifying Kind

By: Ardis E. Parshall - September 30, 2009

United Kingdom, you will be assimilated!

This advert appeared in the Millennial Star in 1966:



42 Comments »

  1. Huh, I’ve never seen caffeine spelled like that, but a little google searching reveals that it is a variant. Would have been one heck of a typo! (Or maybe the ad person didn’t want to spell out the evil word, like heck or darn. Heh.)

    Comment by Doug Hudson — September 30, 2009 @ 7:40 am

  2. You know the English have never learned to spell properly!

    Comment by Eric Boysen — September 30, 2009 @ 7:59 am

  3. re: “America’s great bedtime beverage”

    At least the imperialist ad writer mitigated things a bit by the use of a French word [sachet].

    [smirk]

    Thanks — this was fun to see.

    Comment by Hunter — September 30, 2009 @ 8:08 am

  4. Still on topic, if anyone knows of a UK source for Postum can they get in touch with me please? There was a bit of an outcry in my ward a few years ago when the one remaining supplier stopped…well, supplying…

    Comment by Alison — September 30, 2009 @ 8:32 am

  5. Alison, good luck in finding a “high class grocer”!

    Comment by ellen — September 30, 2009 @ 8:36 am

  6. I also caught the “Caffeine” sans final e. “America’s Great Bedtime Beverage”???? I don’t think I ever knew a person who drank Postum before bed.

    Comment by Steve C. — September 30, 2009 @ 9:18 am

  7. re #5, “high class grocer.”

    Arthur King once recounted that when he was a child in Great Britain, people usually purchased most grocery goods in unlabeled form. The idea was that grocers of quality would purchase the best goods for their customers and that unlabeled goods might be somewhat inferior.

    Comment by S. Taylor — September 30, 2009 @ 9:19 am

  8. I read that first line, “The Instant Postum is on us!” and thought it would be a great line for a horror flick.

    Or maybe it’s one of those things the soon-to-be-on-the-Lord’s-left-hand folks will say as the judgments of the last days approach.

    Comment by Mark B. — September 30, 2009 @ 9:19 am

  9. Can we get one of the resident Brits to decipher “3/11 Jar” for us?

    Comment by Mark B. — September 30, 2009 @ 9:21 am

  10. Mark: “Jar”: the bottle, the glass container holding the powdered beverage. The price is 3/11 for that much of the product.

    (Oh, wait. That probably wasn’t your question, huh?)

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — September 30, 2009 @ 9:24 am

  11. Woe, woe, and great was the fall thereof! And all nations from afar off mourned.

    Comment by Jared T. — September 30, 2009 @ 9:54 am

  12. There is a vintage of UK Mormons who are addicted to Postum.

    Comment by RJH — September 30, 2009 @ 9:57 am

  13. Now Eric, I don’t like the colour of that comment at all. I mean, why do you have to be the centre of attention, like some comedian in a theatre, pointing out the funny looking man in the bowler? To criticise the creators of your mother tongue is obviously one of your favourite things to do, so I will leave you to it. I must say, your literary licence should be revoked.

    Comment by NJensen — September 30, 2009 @ 9:57 am

  14. Send him to gaol!

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — September 30, 2009 @ 10:12 am

  15. Where he can spend his time Reading.

    Comment by Mark B. — September 30, 2009 @ 10:30 am

  16. I was going to respond to #4 and say Postum isn’t available anywhere now days (“nowadays”? Arggh!?) but I just realized comment #11 did that for me. I just didn’t recognize it cloaked in biblical language. Does that make the indignation more righteous?

    Comment by Clark — September 30, 2009 @ 10:41 am

  17. /groan/ :)

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — September 30, 2009 @ 10:41 am

  18. Or trying to figure out if it’s 3 shillings 11 pence per jar, or 3 pounds for 11 jars.

    Comment by Mark B. — September 30, 2009 @ 11:52 am

  19. A moment of silence for a deceased product… Pero will never fill the void in my heart.

    Comment by Latter-day Guy — September 30, 2009 @ 12:26 pm

  20. It’s 3 shillings and 11 pence per jar, O ye heathen ;-)

    There is indeed a certain demographic that is in deep mourning for Postum’s passing, RJH…not me, though. And thanks for the article, Jared.

    Comment by Alison — September 30, 2009 @ 12:27 pm

  21. Sorry Alison. I’ve been a heathen all my life–and there’s nothing I can do about it.

    I blame my English ancestors, who likely never had 11 pence between them, to say nothing of a shilling. I inherited my understanding of high finance from them.

    Comment by Mark B. — September 30, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

  22. Cafix, Roma, and Celestial Seasonings Roastaroma–we’ve tried them all but still haven’t found a satisfactory Postum replacement.

    Comment by reader Rachel — September 30, 2009 @ 12:59 pm

  23. I still have a jar and a half that I’m hoarding. I was never a heavy drinker, but I like it when I have a bad cold or the flu — it has more body than tea but without the dairy of hot chocolate.

    Comment by Wm Morris — September 30, 2009 @ 7:07 pm

  24. Hey relax, we can’t spell here either. It’s a miricle when I get through a post without an error!

    Comment by Eric Boysen — September 30, 2009 @ 10:16 pm

  25. mmm postum.

    I loved your colour,
    my Mam never tyred of you

    Neighbour you can have your dandelion and burdock,
    Just give me some of that wonderous stock

    Oh Postum we weep for thee
    A threepence, a haypenny
    It and more I see

    Yet for it all
    you are gone,
    no more is left in my chemists stalls.

    A cuppa is all that we long for
    yet all we are left for tea is sore.

    Comment by JonW — September 30, 2009 @ 11:39 pm

  26. thank you thank you, please send your Yorkie bars to:

    JonW
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Canada

    That is all.

    Comment by JonW — September 30, 2009 @ 11:41 pm

  27. Worldly genius is sometimes fueled by wine … Mormon genius, evidently, by toasted grain beverage and chocolate …

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — October 1, 2009 @ 1:11 am

  28. Rachel, a mere 60 dollars and three shillings will buy you a can of postum on ebay: http://cgi.ebay.com/POSTUM-BEVERAGE-RED-JAR-SEALED_W0QQitemZ290353083652QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item439a647504&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14#ht_500wt_1182

    And 25 dollars more will buy an unopened can of Crystal Pepsi: http://cgi.ebay.com/UNOPENED-CAN-OF-CRYSTAL-PEPSI-CIRCA-1993-OR-SO-RARE_W0QQitemZ290353760573QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item439a6ec93d#ht_500wt_1182

    Ahh, the memories.

    Comment by Kaimi — October 1, 2009 @ 1:36 am

  29. ooo I liked Crystal Pepsi some what… sort of… Sixty bucks for Postum, you really have to have a craving.

    Comment by JonW — October 1, 2009 @ 7:34 am

  30. An unopened can
    of Crystal Pepsi? Surely
    now it’s toxic waste.

    (Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.)

    By the way, I have a lovely picture of one of my boys holding a Yorkie bar with a huge smile on his face. Suddenly the world made sense for a glorious moment…

    Comment by Researcher — October 1, 2009 @ 8:05 am

  31. JonW said “Sixty bucks for Postum, you really have to have a craving.”

    How long would a container that size last though? A month? I have friends who think nothing of spending $4.00 a day at their favorite coffee shop…. for hot chocolate.

    Comment by Bruce Crow — October 1, 2009 @ 8:37 am

  32. “…for hot chocolate”

    Ha! Hilarious, Bruce Crow.

    Comment by Hunter — October 1, 2009 @ 10:39 am

  33. JonW

    Skip the Yorkies, and fill your cravings with Eat-Mores (the only candy bar known to have “first strike survivability”).

    [How Canadians have any teeth left after a steady diet of Eat-More bars is a mystery! Maybe there’s a historical explanation.]

    Comment by Mark B. — October 1, 2009 @ 11:54 am

  34. Yeah, but it is really good hot chocolate.

    Comment by Bruce Crow — October 1, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

  35. #33: Speaking of Eat-Mores (which I love, btw), you can purchase a case of 48 for the low price of $43.97 by clicking here.

    I have a family reunion next Summer in Alberta. I will be buying some Eat-Mores for my food storage. ;-)

    Comment by Brian Duffin — October 1, 2009 @ 3:37 pm

  36. #35: My ex-Canadian father in-law used to buy them by the case. It was the only candy bar that could survive a weekend of hunting, all the while in your back pocket, and still be edible (if in fact it ever had been.)

    Eat-Mores have been known to survive the explosion of nuclear weapons. If the Canadians had used them as body armor, the names Vimy Ridge and Dieppe would not be such grim reminders of the heavy cost of war. And, if you have teeth as strong as a beaver’s, you’ll bite through the bar without risk of pulling them all out.

    Comment by Mark B. — October 1, 2009 @ 9:35 pm

  37. Now now you have to chew them not swallow them like some wax coated chocolate like abominations that exist in America.

    Actually, give me British chocs any day over what we get here. Same goes for ice cream. Spoiled me completely having access to all that sugary goodness.

    Comment by JonW — October 1, 2009 @ 11:20 pm

  38. Had a friend of mine from Wales bring me some Yorkies a few months ago, I still will buy them for 2.50 out of our British Import store when I feel rich.

    I love them… I am an addict what can I say.
    (plus I can shout at my wife, THEY ARE NOT FOR GIRLS, it says so right on the package) ;)

    Comment by JonW — October 1, 2009 @ 11:22 pm

  39. […] they are not for girls mate! Ok over on Ardis lovely Postum ad posting I have manupulated it into a very chocolaty direction so I wanted to give people an idea, who have […]

    Pingback by Yorkies, they are not for girls mate! « Banner, Sword, and Shield — October 1, 2009 @ 11:40 pm

  40. ok I have crossed posted my yorkie ad if you want to check it out rather than hogging the postum comments.

    see here

    Comment by JonW — October 1, 2009 @ 11:42 pm

  41. He-he! Who can ever guess what direction a Postum post will go! All right, folks, let’s head to Banner, Sword and Shield through JonW’s link and see what the fuss is over Yorkies.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — October 2, 2009 @ 7:47 am

  42. Yorkies dipped in Cadbury’s hot chocolate….the ultimate yummy.

    Comment by Anne (U.K) — October 2, 2009 @ 12:00 pm

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