Recent news accounts of the disgusting acts of employees of another Illinois cemetery bring to mind this story of disturbing the dead, this one published in the Tribune just before Presidents’ Day, 2008.)

The Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield, Illinois, should have been the quietest place on earth on November 7, 1876. Springfield’s living were busy with Election Day excitements, and Springfield’s dead – well, the dead don’t usually attract nighttime visitors. Even Abraham Lincoln’s mausoleum, object of many daylight pilgrimages, was locked tight.

But that night three men jumped the fence and approached the back of the Lincoln monument. They sawed at the mausoleum’s padlock with a hacksaw. After half an hour’s labor, the lock broke and the three men opened the door to the tomb. One raised an ax to swing at the marble sarcophagus holding Lincoln’s casket, but another stopped him: “If we can get the lid off, we can put it on again and it won’t be known that the coffin is gone.” The men lifted the heavy lid, then went to work on the end panel preparatory to pulling the casket from its resting place.

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A good homemade cracker, a nice-but-cheap wedding present, morganatic marriages, and advice on smelling pretty — just some of the concerns of the Mormon girls and young women who wrote to the “Girl Query” department of the Young Woman’s Journal in 1919:

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What is the difference between eugenics and euthenics? – Meg.

Eugenics means the inheritance of a fine breed; of the generation of a fine race or family line.

Euthenics is the making of a fine race or family line, by the circumstances, surroundings, conditions, and outward influences brought to bear upon them.
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Elder Joseph Fielding Smith
47 East South Temple Street
Salt Lake City, Utah.

Dear Brother Smith:

Some time ago it came to my attention that you would be interested in hearing the story of the departure from Germany of some of the missionaries whom you took care of during the “evacuation” of two years ago. Probably this would be a good time to give you my “story.”

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Chinese immigrants settling in 19th century Salt Lake faced the same mistreatment they found in other western states. Charlie Long was badly injured in 1899 when he was stoned by a group of boys who disappeared into the crowd watching a university football practice. Yee Five died the same year and was buried with traditional offerings, but white citizens offered a collective shrug when “irreverent youth” robbed the grave. Even the Tribune could describe an 1895 hearing attended by Chinese observers as “wash day in court.”

Once in a while, however, Utah’s abused Chinese minority were granted the same treatment accorded other residents. Such an instance happened on July 30, 1896, when white Salt Lakers cooperated to render justice to Hing Sing, an elderly gardener and peddler.

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Like our modern game, a 19th century “charade” was a word puzzle. Instead of acting out clues to the riddle, though, the old game was based on spelling.

This one was created by Marcia Ann Gates (1856-1926), of Mill Creek, Salt Lake Valley (later Mrs. George Thomas Waters of Idaho Falls), when she was 16 years old.

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Groups of Latter-day Saints around the world posed for their branch portraits in 1904:

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Berlin, Germany

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Lesson 31: “Sealed … for Time and for All Eternity”

This may be a good lesson to remind readers that I don’t necessarily endorse these lessons, and they don’t necessarily pass the test of good doctrine or present understanding. These old lessons are offered only as an illustration of how topics covered by this year’s Gospel Doctrine lessons have been taught in the past.

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Lesson 30: “The Prisoners Shall Go Free”

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1936: Gospel Restoration Themes: A Handbook for Missionaries and Other Students of the Gospel

Lesson 8: Salvation for the Dead

From the Series of Tracts Known as “Rays of Living Light” by Charles W. Penrose

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“Mirror, mirror on the wall …” That fairy tale incantation in Disney’s 1937 feature “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” summoned magical responses delivered in the mirror’s memorable baritone voice, a voice not identified by the film’s credits.

“Looks like we’ll have to send someone down –– a lot of people are asking for help for a man named George Bailey.” Another voice from an unseen speaker, this one the angel in Frank Capra’s 1946 “It’s a Wonderful Life,” instructing guardian angel Clarence on his assignment to save the life of the ordinary man who had always put everyone else’s needs before his own.

The man behind both the mirror and the angel was Moroni Olsen, a native of Utah and a faithful Latter-day Saint.

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Back to 1912 for some jokes from the Juvenile Instructor —

Mother – Johnny, how is it you stand so much lower in your studies in January than you did in December?

Son – Oh, everything is marked down after the holidays, you know, mother.

—oooOooo—

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It may not be “the stone which is cut out of the mountain without hands [which] shall roll forth, until it has filled the whole earth,” but Mormon History Association President Ronald E. Romig would like it roll around the whole earth this year – and he needs your help.

At MHA’s concluding banquet in Springfield, Illinois, last May, outgoing President Kathryn Daynes carried out an MHA tradition by passing along to incoming President Ron Romig the beloved “Mormon History Association Presidential Seer Stone.” This stone is a chunk of rock from historian Leonard Arrington’s boyhood farm in Idaho, plucked out of the irrigation ditch by the late and much missed Dean L. May near the close of Dean’s tenure as MHA president. Each MHA president since then has had custody of the stone during his or her tenure, a constant, solid reminder of the goals and principles of MHA.

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For the life of me, I haven’t been able to figure out how to turn any of the following into posts. But each one made me laugh when I found it, so maybe they’ll tickle you, too.

Why Missionaries Should Always Wear Pajamas to Bed

Elders Wm. R. Andrus and Wesley W. Farrer report a peculiar incident [somewhere in Maine]. One evening after retiring, the good people who had entertained them grew suspicious and sent for the city marshal to come and investigate as to who they were. The marshal and two aides arrived, awaked the elders and asked them to explain who and what they were. The elders sat up in bed and with the marshal, his aides, and the gentleman of the house as their congregation, they explained who they were, how they traveled, and what their message was. After listening for some time, they allowed the elders to remain in bed, where they enjoyed a good night’s rest, after their “successful meeting.”

– Liahona: The Elders’ Journal, 24 July 1909

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Minerva Techert
“Pioneers Arriving in the Valley”

Party games, correspondence courses, why pimply girls should own a shaving brush, and that perennial favorite – promiscuous kissing – are all addressed in the “Girl Query” feature of the Young Woman’s Journal for 1915.

—oooOooo—

“Blue Eyes,” “Jessie,” and “Olga.” – If you will send self-addressed envelope, I will discuss your love affairs in personal letters, and help you if I can. The things which interest you, interest me. There is no question too trivial or commonplace, to receive my attention, if I can only help you.

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“Pioneer Mother,” by Avard Fairbanks
The Instructor, May 1955

The Church History Library has been open to the public for a month now. Here is my evaluation of how the library is working from the standpoint of a researcher. This is written in ignorance of how the past month would be evaluated by administrators, staff, or the curious public – it reflects only my judgment as a patron.

Appearance: A

The building is as impressive as ever: The landscaping, the approach to the doors, the soaring ceilings and natural light and window views are beautiful. I haven’t yet started taking for granted the first exciting view of the reading room from the lobby. Everything about that view says “Our history is important, and we are engaged in serious business here.”

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Improvement Era
August 1959

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This lesson from the 1963 manual for Teachers in the Aaronic Priesthood, covers material that I think many women feel is directed only at women in the Church. How does it hold up almost 50 years later? Are these matters still discussed with today’s young men of 14 and 15? (I assume so, but have no contact with young men that age.)

The Body of a Man

OBJECTIVE:

To stress the importance of proper respect, treatment, and control of the body as a vital aspect of teachers in the Aaronic Priesthood becoming mature and principled men.

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Improvement Era
March 1954

Posted below is a lesson discussed in the Family Relations (Sunday School) class in 1947, from The Latter-day Saint Family, by Harold T. Christensen. This comes from the same book as the post Lonely, Bitter, Maladjusted, Highly Disagreeable, Sour, Gay and Insane: The Unmarried Saint in the Pew Next to You. (I point that out because while we had a good time disagreeing with him and picking out the flaws in that lesson, Christensen was a respected sociologist and his writing on other topics may very well be right on target. It’s fine to disagree with anything in this lesson, but it’s also fine to agree with anything, too – please don’t let our conclusions about that lesson interfere with a fair reading of this one. Thanks.)

1947 was just about the time that my mother and the other adults who shaped my early church life would have been getting their first adult lessons in modern women’s issues and “scientific” theories of women’s roles and nature. Lessons like this must have shaped my world in profound ways. It’s one thing to assume what women were being told in church or in the wider culture; I think it’s very helpful to have concrete examples of what they were in fact being taught.

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Relief Society Magazine
July 1933

With the motto “Real Service Consists in Losing Self for the Good of Others,” the Primary lessons of 1923 focused on the theme of “An Open Door to All.” Most of the pictures published in the Children’s Friend that month for use as class visual aids demonstrate hospitality: visitors to a 1923 home, newly arriving immigrants in Church history, the introduction of foreign converts to a missionary’s family at home (in this case, the hospitality went both ways: the converts had hosted the missionary, and now the missionary’s family was hosting them), the welcome given to wagon companies arriving in the Salt Lake Valley, and — of particular interest to Keepa readers — the greeting of tourists at the Salt Lake Auto Camp.

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Relief Society Magazine
January 1963

Lesson 28: “Oh, God, Where Art Thou?”

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1932: Lesson Book for The Ordained Teachers, No. 1

Lesson 36: When Great Sorrows Are Our Portion

President Heber J. Grant: My wife Lucy was very sick for nearly three years prior to her death. At one time I was in the hospital with her for six months. When she was dying, I called my children into the bedroom and told her their mama was dying. My daughter Lutie said she did not want her mama to die, and insisted that I lay hands upon her and heal her, saying that she had often seen her mother, when sick in the hospital, in San Francisco, suffering intensely, go to sleep immediately and have a peaceful night’s rest, when I had blessed her. (more…)

Lesson 27: “They Must Needs Be Chastened and Tried, Even as Abraham”

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1934: Church History Sunday School Lessons

Lesson 29: The Saints Driven from Jackson County

For two summers straight, the Prophet made a two thousand mile round trip from Kirtland to Jackson County, the site for the New Jerusalem. On both visits he warned the Saints to keep the Sabbath day holy and otherwise observe all the laws of God, without which, they were told, they could not build the Holy City nor the sacred Temple. (more…)

Lesson 26: “Go Ye into All the World, and Preach My Gospel”

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1949: Doctrine and Covenants Studies, by Bryant S. Hinckley

Chapter 31: HOW THE GOSPEL SHALL BE PREACHED (Section 84, verses 77 to 120)

Summary

“… I give unto you this commandment, that ye become even as my friends in days when I was with them, traveling to preach the gospel in my power.” (Verse 77.) In verses 77 through 111 the Lord again emphasizes the responsibility resting upon his people to preach the gospel and describes how the gospel shall be preached. “Behold, I send you out to prove the world, and the laborer is worthy of his hire.” (Verse 79.)

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Lesson 24: “Be Not Deceived, but Continue in Steadfastness”

Another outdated one, posted only so I can pat myself on the back for having put up a post for every lesson in the current year’s course of study …

1936: New Testament Sunday School Lessons

Lesson 23: Single Minded Loyalty

Every year thousands of tourists travel long distances to visit the famous Temple Square, in Salt Lake City; yet there are many people living but a few blocks away who have never heard the great organ play. To most people, money is a precious thing to be sought after eagerly and to be handled with extreme care; but to those who work in bank vaults and government mints, it is only something to be handled, sorted, and accounted for like any other merchandise.

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Some corny jokes from the church magazines of 1950 —

A juke box company put its new employee to work as collector of coins from the company’s juke boxes in the local jive spots. For two weeks after he got the job, he failed to show up at the office. then one day he walked in nonchalantly and said he had lost his key to the boxes.

“Where have you been?” stormed the manager. “You haven’t even been around to collect your salary.”

“What!” exclaimed the amazed neophyte. “Do I get a salary too?”

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Relief Society Magazine
July 1936

In 1967, the MIA program for young LDS men included a lesson that hasn’t been part of the program for many years, at least in the United States: On the third week of September that year, the young men were taught about their military service obligations and the possibility of coordinating that obligation with other personal goals, such as college and marriage, and religious goals, such as serving a mission.

Project Guide

The privilege of citizenship in this land is coupled, as all privilege, with equal responsibility. Under current federal law, this responsibility for the youth of this nation imposes a six-year military obligation. this discussion is designed to give a broad overview of the military programs as they exist at this time. For more detailed and timely information, the group leader may wish to call upon resource individuals, such as Selective Service board members, reserve officers, retired military personnel, or a high school vocational counselor.

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The Instructor, February 1967
“Handcart Rescue”
Dale Kilbourne