Comments on: Lonely, Bitter, Maladjusted, Highly Disagreeable, Sour, Gay, and Insane: The Unmarried Saint in the Pew Next to You

By: Amy T

Amy T — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 12:27:17 +0000

Julia, you could probably ask Bookslinger for a copy of the talk. (Click on his name for a link to his blog, and if you've never read Flooding the Earth with the Book of Mormon, you're in for a pleasant surprise.)

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 11:56:15 +0000

I am so disappointed that the link to the talk no longer work. Any chance you archived it Ardis?

Julia
poetrysansonions.blogspot.com

By: Raymond Takashi Swenson

Raymond Takashi Swenson — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:47:34 +0000

Everyone’s comments are well taken, but I wonder if we are recognizing that, first of all, this essay is not founded on gospel principles but rather on common perceptions of the time, 60 years ago, perceptions were to a large extent observations rather than prescriptions. In 1947 the surge in college attendance due to WW II veterans using the GI Bill was just starting, so saying that a woman who got a college degree was essentially eliminating most men as husbands, because they were mainly jerks whose egos could not stand living with a woman with more education than themselves, was an arguably accurate statement.

My wife’s family came from farming and working in mine smelters. One aunt had attended BYU for a few years but dropped out when she married. When my future wife was considering what to do after high school, her family encouraged her to learn secretarial skills at LDS Business College, rather than do something more exotic, like the fashion merchandizing program, or even a regular college program. They were so out of touch with the world of higher education that they were not even aware that there was financial aid available that could have paid for a BA program for someone as poverty stricken as she was. And her neighbors in Magna and the counselors at Cyprus High School were equally unhelpful.

When our kids were a little older, she started taking classes at a community college in California, where she had a straight A average. She always had the potential to do something more with her education, but didn’t have any advice about her choices. She lost opportunities because everyone in her environment had no vision of the value of higher education. They saw her as just one more girl who would play out her life in one of the standard roles.

And I think that is where the author of this essay was, describing the consensus wisdom of the time, with many accurate observations, but lacking a vision of how circumstances could be improved, a vision of how finding a mate should work in Zion (the real one, not the “Zions Bank” and “Zions Used Cars” one).

By: Bookslinger

Bookslinger — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:44:38 +0000

Oh, and a few "Amen Sistah"'s, would have been thrown in there with the applause.

By: Bookslinger

Bookslinger — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:42:47 +0000

A “you’re welcome” to all those who enjoyed reading Sister C’s talk that I linked. I’m glad she gave permission to put that online. I really had to fight the tendency to give a standing ovation. Only the many years of conditioning of “no clapping at talks given in a chapel” was able to override my desire to applaud the sister. But if I had given in, I’m sure the whole row of singles I was sitting with would have joined.

By: Hunter

Hunter — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:44:02 +0000

I really enjoyed that talk, Bookslinger. Thanks. I just wish I could have been there to hear it live. I much preferred reading this single sister's own perspective, rather than that of the (ostensibly married) author of the OP.

By: Kevin Barney

Kevin Barney — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:03:22 +0000

Holy smokes! I couldn’t believe the story about sending the old women with their walkers packing to the folding chairs in the back. (I recently brought a wheelchair bound woman to our sacrament meeting, so that one hit close to home.) I can’t even imagine a bishop doing that. He needs to read about “pure religion and undefiled” in James.

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:37:57 +0000

I agree, that was a great talk. Thanks for posting it, Bookslinger.

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:27:32 +0000

Holy cow, Ziff! I hadn’t noticed that at all, but you’re right! Wow.

(The Family Relations class was intended for married couples. There’s no question about that.)

By: Ziff

Ziff — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:02:24 +0000

Thanks for posting this, Ardis. I find it interesting how the issue of more religiously devoted women in the Church than religiously devoted men is apparently an ongoing one.

Also, I think it’s interesting how the author repeatedly says “we” in talking about himself and his audience, while single adults are always “they.” I doubt it was intended, but it sounds like he’s intending to have a conversation with other married people (I assume he was married) about “those singles” like parents might talk about their troublesome kids.