Keepapitchinin, the Mormon History blog » Poll: Tender Mercy? Or Two Stupids Cancelling Each Other?

Poll: Tender Mercy? Or Two Stupids Cancelling Each Other?

By: Ardis E. Parshall - May 03, 2009

I intended to make chili for dinner this afternoon and soaked the beans overnight. This morning I put the beans on to boil, just to get them started, knowing they wouldn’t be done before time to leave for church.

Then I got busy with last minute notes for my Sunday School lesson (which went well, thank you very much) and forgot to turn off the pot before I left for church.

I didn’t think of it again until the opening prayer of our third-hour Sacrament meeting. As soon as I could, I whispered to my neighbor that I had left a boiling pot at home, and she and I rushed out of the second row pew just as the Sacrament song was starting.

That was the longest three-minute ride I’ve ever had. At the very least, my good pot was destroyed, everything stank of burned beans, the smoke detectors were shrieking, and a neighbor had had to call the landlord to bring his keys and take care of things. At the very worst, the building had burned down.

Everything seemed calm as I jumped out of the car and flew up the steps. There was no smoke, no burnt smell. My cat blinked up at me from his basket on the desk, serene as ever.

And that’s when I discovered that the pot was stone cold, because yesterday when I pulled the vacuum cleaner too far into the bedroom I also pulled the stove’s plug just far enough out of the wall that the burner had never come on.



  1. Ray is laughing so hard he can’t think straight enough to figure out what he wants to choose.

    Are there actual choices attached to Answers #3-#5? My screen simply shows boxes with no written options. If that is not intended, I might change my vote to #2. :)

    Comment by Ray — May 3, 2009 @ 3:02 pm

  2. I’ve fixed that poll twice (I thought) but it never seems to register the deletion of those empty answer options. Which probably makes a third stupid — but if that is the one that is going to be permanent, I can live with it.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — May 3, 2009 @ 3:16 pm

  3. Bless you, Ardis!

    Comment by Ben Pratt — May 3, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

  4. Thank you!! This is soooo funny. It is nice to know someone else out there needs a guardian angel.

    Comment by JA Benson — May 3, 2009 @ 4:01 pm

  5. guardian angel. definitely. the stakes were too high.

    now if you poured your soup into the strainer rather than the bowl that looks just like the strainer BUT WITHOUT THE HOLES IN IT, then i might have voted for two negatives making a positive. :-)

    Comment by ellen — May 3, 2009 @ 4:26 pm

  6. Hey Ellen-I did that once too, only it was milk and not soup.

    Comment by JA Benson — May 3, 2009 @ 4:49 pm

  7. Crock pots and/or slow cookers. Ardis

    Comment by John Willis — May 3, 2009 @ 5:56 pm

  8. Tender chili beans. Glad it had a good ending.

    Comment by Jacob J — May 3, 2009 @ 7:39 pm

  9. As someone who HAS left a pot cooking on the stove, I am happy for you. In our case, we had the smoke smell in our carpet for weeks . . .

    Anyhow, I voted for option 2, not because I think Ardis is stupid or senile, but as a vote against option 1.

    Comment by Hunter — May 3, 2009 @ 9:47 pm

  10. Answer 3: Beans don’t belong in chili. It’s chili con carne not chili con frijoles. God was trying to tell you something.

    Comment by Left Field — May 4, 2009 @ 5:05 am

  11. I’m afraid it’s two stupids canceling each other. Which has happened often enough in my life that I’m thankful for it.

    And, Left Field is on to something. It was only when I left the beans out of my chili that I won the ward chili contest.

    Comment by Mark B. — May 4, 2009 @ 6:14 am

  12. Canned beans! Use canned beans. Use the dark red kidney beans in your chili. Taste great and will take care of “other ailments” we’ve recently discussed on Keepa. :-)

    Comment by Steve C. — May 4, 2009 @ 7:56 am

  13. I would generally tend to agree with John Willis who recommended a slow cooker.

    A favorite recipe of mine: put a couple of pounds of chicken breasts in the slow cooker, sprinkle in a little taco or fajita seasoning, dump a bottle of salsa on top and cook until you can shred the chicken easily. The result always seems like you took so much more effort and you can use it for all sorts of Tex-Mex foods. I made it the other day, and it’s such a foolproof recipe.

    Unless you forget to turn the slow cooker on…

    Comment by Researcher — May 4, 2009 @ 8:15 am

  14. Chili without beans is just Sloppy Joe without the bun, isn’t it?

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — May 4, 2009 @ 10:14 am

  15. Too many food comments

    “…Keepa isn’t chiefly a political blog. If we have to debate, let’s debate the history, and keep the focus there. Thanks.”

    from Ardis (April 21) chiding morgan for straying from the one true and narrow path of historical discussion

    Also, on behalf of all people called Joe, I deeply resent the disparaging reference in the above comment.
    Let’s keep neatism out of the bloggernacle

    Comment by J. Paul — May 4, 2009 @ 12:02 pm

  16. I’m not sure I’m all that tickled by the mounting vote count on my senility.

    Comment by Ardis E. Parshall — May 4, 2009 @ 12:11 pm

  17. At least your Sunday School lesson went well. I could seriously have used a second stupid to offset my first one and make my lesson merely average instead of a 40 minute ad lib by my wife.

    Comment by Last Lemming — May 4, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

  18. Don’t worry about that Ardis. Before long you won’t remember a thing!

    And, no, you’re wrong about the chili and beans thing. You can make chili, or you can make chili con carne, or you can go American and make chili beans. It’s great if you’re on the Atkins diet–none of those carbohydrates from the beans.

    Comment by Mark B. — May 4, 2009 @ 1:07 pm

  19. Ardis, Guardian Angel. In fact, I know which one. Edward, from Twilight, was stalking you, and since HE’S SO HOT he was jealous of the hot pot, and pulled the plug on the stove. But he left before finishing vacuuming the floor, so he loses hot points over that.

    Comment by kevinf — May 4, 2009 @ 1:25 pm

  20. I love that the non-sensical “Answer 3” got four votes.

    Comment by Hunter — May 4, 2009 @ 1:36 pm

  21. My husband left a pan on the stove one day while I was at work. The only things that burned were the pan, the stove, and the bird clock above the stove. We got a week’s vacation in a local motel with a pool while our house was de-smoked. Guardian Angel, for sure.

    Comment by Noray — May 4, 2009 @ 4:50 pm

  22. Reminds me of the time that we had the remains of a turkey burn while being turned into soup. At least my wife finally understood that I don’t like turkey soup (neither does she).

    So it was a blessing all in all.

    Comment by Stephen M (Ethesis) — May 4, 2009 @ 9:21 pm

  23. My Sunday burn story is a little bit different. I was browning a roast on my gas stove. So that it didn’t splatter, I put dish towels around the burner like I always do, being careful not to get the towels too close to the flame. Unfortunately one of the towels was too close and caught on fire. I threw it into the sink and doused it with water, then took it outside, dripping wet, and put it in the black barrel. As we were leaving for church, we discovered smoke coming from the garbage can and found that the wet towel was actually in flames. We seriously had a guardian angel.

    I should have known better. A year ago our next door neighbor cleaned out his woodburning stove and put the ashes in a bucket. Three days later he poured the cold ashes (he had even put his hand it them and stirred them around to check) into his black garbage can and went to bed. About 1:00 a.m. we woke up to find his roof and garage on fire on the coldest night of the year.

    I’m glad that you are ok, Ardis.

    Comment by Maurine — May 5, 2009 @ 12:02 am

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