Comments on: Funny Bones, 1930

By: Matt W.

Matt W. — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:10:34 +0000

er They don’t, I mean

By: Matt W.

Matt W. — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:10:17 +0000

While looking around for this, I found:

” It reminds me of the blasphemous remark of a scoffing acquaintance of my brother who said, “I dreamed I saw God and he was a horse.” My brother’s comment was, “Certainly. That is perfectly logical to a jackass.”

-W. Grant Bangerter, “The Voice of the Lord Is unto All People,” Ensign, Nov 1979

That don’t do that much in Conference anymore…

By: Mark B.

Mark B. — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:56:58 +0000

If I were you, Ardis, I’d refuse that assignment on principle. I have it on relatively good authority that even the Bible contains the word “ass” and I suspect that more than one general authority has quoted from that without the walls tumbling down.

One of the high points of 54 years of sacrament meetings (most of which have been relegated to the “lost memory” file) was the talk one young man here in New York gave one Sunday on the ten commandments. He must not have read them all the way through, because when he got to the list of things we’re commanded not to covet, he threw on the brakes in a hurry, then shrugged his shoulders, said “Oh, well, this is what it says in here” and went on beyond the neighbor’s servants and his ox to his ass.

If we all have to snicker because that humble beast is called an ass, or a jackass, then I’m going to have to recite my favorite limerick about the young lady from Madras.

By: Ardis E. Parshall

Ardis E. Parshall — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 01:17:07 +0000

Okay, I’ll take it on assignment to look up the magazine again and tell you who shared covers with the jackass.

By: Ray

Ray — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 00:53:58 +0000

The jackass joke is my favorite of all time, Ardis – and I think we are poorer for not being able to include it in our current magazines (as well as the lap – and the dog’s plate – and the fickle wife – and the botched prayer – and the verbose mother-in-law. There is nothing that should be offensive in that word being used in that context – and I wish the Church as an institution would laugh at itself more than it does now.

I also would like to know the answer to Matt’s question. The possibilities are just too rich.

By: Matt W.

Matt W. — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 19:35:53 +0000

I just want to know what messages for what GAs where in the same magazine as the “Jackass” gag.

By: Mark B.

Mark B. — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:58:59 +0000

Some great stuff here, Ardis.

The joke about the airplane ride reminds me of the young lady who protested her date’s attempt to kiss her good night.

“Not on a first date, please.”

“How about on a last date, then?” he replied.

And that girl on the last lap. Hmmm. A little racy, nicht wahr?

By: Mark Brown

Mark Brown — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:24:22 +0000

Ardis, I think you got the date wrong one at least one of these. The one about the guy whose snoring disturbs the congregation is from 2008. He lives in my ward.

And the one about the husband who decides to agree with his wife after an argument, only to have her say that she has already changed her mind — well, I know some people that happens to, all the time.